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mikephillips said:
If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy...
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I love that. I quote it most every time I fix something for herself 'cause I'm lookin' out for ya. We're all in this together.
 
maynard said:
Or rich
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Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At their very first chance, they corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?” Bob replied, “Girlfriend? She's my wife!” They’re knocked over, but continue to ask: “So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?” “I lied about my age,” Bob replied. “What? Did you tell her you were only 50?” Bob smiled and said, “No, I told her I was 90.”
 
Redneck anti-theft device
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George Burns and Gracie Allen -

Gracie, you're an excellent example of Mind over Matter.

You have very little mind, and it doesn't seem to matter.
 
High beam, low beam. Nice touch.
 
Had a water cooler in the window of our 54 Studebaker.
 
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