Cooking bacon

[Basil]

 

[Bayless]

Love it! SWMBO says "well that's true."

 

[LarryK]

I had a customer on my mail route that when his wife past he tried cooking bacon for the first time. I came by and the fire dept., police and an ambulance was there. I asked the old man what happened, said he was cooking the bacon and he left the room to answer the phone and everything started smoking. They ventilated the house for him and the daughter promised not to call again in the morning.

 

[Mert]

translation: what you don't have in your head, you have to have in your legs. Correct German using this English translation -- Was du nicht in deinem hast, musst du in deinem Beinen haben. Married to a German lady long long ago. This play on German words - has no meaning. Maybe the English word - between - is implied.

 

[waltesefalcon]

Never cook bacon in the nude.

 

[John Turney]

When I went to school, many, many years ago, only the girls were taught how to cook. The boys were taught wood shop.

 

[Gliderman8]

I never cook it. French word for bacon is “lard”. That ends it for me.

 

[Mert]

Never cook bacon in the nude: Kochen Sie Speck niemals nackt

 

[Popeye]

Love it!! (I’m the guy that managed to burn microwave popcorn. Really impressed by not-yet-wife at the time!!)

 

[Basil]

Never cook bacon in the nude.

That's good advice!

 

[Basil]

I never cook it. French word for bacon is “lard”. That ends it for me.

But...

(I never knew there was a Lard Information Council - imagine sitting on that board!)

 

[Gliderman8]

Nothing would get done at a Lard Council meeting; they would sit around and blubber all night.

 

[mikephillips]

or slid off the board...

 

[waltesefalcon]

Lets not render this down to another list of bad puns.

 

[Bayless]

Too late.

 

[John Turney]

But...

...

(I never knew there was a Lard Information Council - imagine sitting on that board!)

As in sitting around on their fat butts?