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Thread: Mowing the lawn

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    Administrator Basil's Avatar
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    Mowing the lawn

    "It's too hot to wear clothes today," i said to my wife, stepping out of the shower.


    "What do you reckon the neighbours will think if I mow the grass like this?" I asked.


    "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
    “The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.” - Oscar Wilde

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    Great Pumpkin JPSmit's Avatar
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    Re: Mowing the lawn

    A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She
    rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her
    daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was
    playing and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
    "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm waiting for my husband to come
    home from work," the daughter-in-law answered."
    But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
    "This is my LOVE dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
    "LOVE dress? But you're naked!"
    "My husband LOVES me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him
    to no end. He can't get enough of me."

    The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put

    on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on
    the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came
    home.
    He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
    "What are you doing?" he asked.
    "This is my LOVE dress," she whispered, sensually.
    "Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"
    John-Peter Smit
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    Obi Wan
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    Re: Mowing the lawn

    Pretty good but I don't dare tell it to my wife...

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    Obi Wan Bayless's Avatar
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    Re: Mowing the lawn

    Never express yourself more clearly than you can think.
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    Yoda Boink's Avatar
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    Re: Mowing the lawn

    I fought the lawn, and the lawn won.
    - Mark

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    Yoda waltesefalcon's Avatar
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    Re: Mowing the lawn

    Boink I sing that one myself while I mow, or this one "Mowing the lawn! Mowing the lawn!"
    Cheers,
    Walter
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    Yoda Boink's Avatar
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    Re: Mowing the lawn

    And in my current location (now 15 years), I don't have a single blade of grass!!!!!!!!!! Love it.
    - Mark

    Former 1956 Austin Healey 100-4 (BN2)
    Former 1962 Mk1 Austin Mini (850)
    Former 1973 Austin Mini (really a 1980s Cooperized Mini)
    Present 1959 Austin Healey "Bugeye" Sprite (with 1275, 5 speed, discs, etc)

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    Great Pumpkin JPSmit's Avatar
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    Re: Mowing the lawn

    Quote Originally Posted by pdplot View Post
    Pretty good but I don't dare tell it to my wife...
    wuss, I've told it in church
    John-Peter Smit
    1976 MG Midget
    1969 Vauxhall Viva GT
    1958 Fiat Multipla (Barn art)

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    Jedi Knight
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    Re: Mowing the lawn

    Two great jokes, thank you both!!!
    Mike
    66 TR4A

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    Great Pumpkin DrEntropy's Avatar
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    Re: Mowing the lawn

    Quote Originally Posted by Boink View Post
    And in my current location (now 15 years), I don't have a single blade of grass!!!!!!!!!! Love it.


    We've got a cover of oak trees, a grass "lawn" is next-to impossible. For the first twenty years (been here since '85) I was in denial and toiled to maintain a green lawn. Gave up and now we have a layer of oak leaves in place. Killed most all the grass. What little green there is consists mostly of "volunteer" weeds. Takes me about ten minutes with a weed-whacker to level that down to a uniform height.
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    Yoda Boink's Avatar
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    Re: Mowing the lawn

    I also struggled to maintain a croquet-sized lawn for the kids (when young). It looked grand, but I became a slave to it.
    - Mark

    Former 1956 Austin Healey 100-4 (BN2)
    Former 1962 Mk1 Austin Mini (850)
    Former 1973 Austin Mini (really a 1980s Cooperized Mini)
    Present 1959 Austin Healey "Bugeye" Sprite (with 1275, 5 speed, discs, etc)

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    Obi Wan
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    Re: Mowing the lawn

    Mine is full of moss, clover, wild strawberries, crabgrass - even some real grass. Cut it short and nobody knows the difference - and it stays green in August without watering.

  13. #13
    Jedi Knight
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    Re: Mowing the lawn

    Mine's the same way on one side and in front, due mostly I think to the constant shade from all the trees. As you note, not one really notices it. And I'm happy with it that way since the trees shade the house so even in the 90+ weather, keeps it from being uncomfortable inside.

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