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Spitfire Funny Spitfire Listing on Craigslist

Moseso

Jedi Knight
Country flag
Offline
The listing is still up at https://eauclaire.craigslist.org/cto/4154990742.html

I saw the listing a couple of weeks ago and thought it wouldn't last this long. His asking price seems more than reasonable to me. If only I had room for another car......

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1968 Triumph Spitfire
2500 miles on odometer but its a rebuilt so who knows?
4 cylinder
Standard Transmission 4 speed on the floor
Bright Red
Convertible, new cover
Crank Windows, all old school vehicle
$3500

Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Triumph Spitfire. This is not a luxury sportscar, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It is a solid little car, low to the ground, with character.
It's an older Triumph. It rides like an older Triumph. It drives like an older Triumph. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures.


If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of tinkering: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a baloney job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.

If, however, you have SERIOUS GUTS and consider zipping around in all weather as an excuse to do have fun: THIS IS YOUR TRIUMPH.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friends with cash who love to act crazy?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?


If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR TRIUMPH.

DETAILS:
-I bought this as a fun car and had it worked on quite a bit to upgrade it.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me.
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. If you have a vehicle thats over 30 years old and is NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Bumpers are good.
-Body is all in good shape with no rust.
-Radiator good.
- Starts fine and runs good.
-Tranny and shifting linkage operate perfectly
-Tires good.
- Positive ground system changed to negative ground.
- Electronic ignition system added.
- Exhaust pipes great.

QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, life, work, and taxes have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Triumph for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

-What's wrong with it?
Rear tail light lens cracked. Left rear turn signal light not responding.

-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Triumph. Love the Triumph. Give the Triumph a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of **** honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.

-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it for fun with the intention of turning it into a possible full restoration.
I haven't had the time to do so. So I am selling it.

-Can I put a Porche engine into it and turn it into a racer?
I don't give a ****. But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake!

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
****. Yes. Not only a fun car, and a learning experience but she'll be the talk of all her friends. Introduction to vehicular maintenance and learn to work on old vehicles a plus.
Additionally, there isn't really no room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
Within reason. I have a friend who will deliver for a price. Thats between you and him though. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.

-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't care. I want $3500.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell.

Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.
 

sqbsprite

Jedi Trainee
Country flag
Offline
That's what I feel like saying every time I list a car for sale. :applause:
 

sammyb

Luke Skywalker
Offline
Great ad for reading...unfortunately a lousy ad for selling the car. Every car I've ever sold on CL or eBay proved via edits one very important thing: make the ad short with bullet points and make every word count. People are dumb and don't read.

I will say though, that I NEVER suggest that a parent buy a collector car for a kid (son or daughter) as a primary vehicle. Too **** dangerous. It's awesome for a kid to have a family classic to develop the appreciation for everything we here understand about old cars, but to send a sub 22-year old out every day in a pre-crumple zone/airbag car is simply asking for statistics/probability/chance to thump you.
 
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