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NutmegCT

NutmegCT

Great Pumpkin
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Here it is folks - the "mission" statement of a local university's Budget Office.

<span style="font-style: italic">Mission:

To actively support teaching, research, service and outreach by producing and communicating financial information. In addition, the Office plans and manages the financial resources available to the University as efficiently and effectively as possible in support of the University’s mission.

We accomplish this by producing, maintaining, analyzing, and forecasting accurate, impartial, and comprehensive information about the university's financial past, present, and future; communicating that information in a clear, useful, and timely manner to constituents inside and outside the university, so they may make the best possible planning, financial policy, and resource allocation decisions; insuring that budgetary decisions are equitable, implemented properly and consistently, and achieving their desired ends; providing this service in a professional and personal spirit of respect, honesty, fairness, cooperation, and goodwill.

We strive to maintain a high standard of knowledge, expertise, service, ethics and professional integrity while providing sound counsel in the financial planning and decision making process of the University. </span>

By the way, the university just this month hired a private consulting firm to advise on how better to manage the budget. For a mere $1.3 million.

oy.

Tom
 
Gah! I hate this stuff!

It'c crap like this, as well as the stilted language in powerpoint documents that's destroying language. I see this every day in my professional life and it just angers me to no end.

I'll bet the first draft was two perfectly good sentences that were improved to this.
 
Speaking of PowerPoint, has anyone ever seen this?

https://norvig.com/Gettysburg/sld001.htm

Click the "next" button on each page (lower right) to see the full Gettysburg Address (sorta).

(Some day, when we're all locked up in padded cells, our generation be the last to remember the "old days", when people actually spoke and wrote to each other in full sentences.)

T.
 
Having to write an office mission statement was the beginning of the end of my career...

I had a good friend who got called on the carpet his last year as the Principal of an inner-city High School when his goal for the year that he submitted was: "to survive".

I never looked at my office's mission statement after it was approved, and my five-year plan that had to be updated annually was only looked at when I had to put in the next year's plan. It just took a few days away from my ability to actually get things accomplished each year.
 
Tom: they shoulda run that by the English Dept. before publishing it.

Aaack, what gobbledygook! :crazyeyes:
 
I'll bet it started in our "modern" (as in post 1990) government...........
 
WHat we need is a "Mission Statement" like: "To get Sh** Done!"

P.C. has run amok.
 
Well, not so sure the idea of having a Mission Statement is a bad one:

<span style="font-style: italic">We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.</span>

But ... adding nebulous strings of infinitives, gerunds, adjectives, etc. to "pad out" the documents seems to have arisen back in the 1960s with the need (?) for accountability and "pleasing all parties involved". Note the opening of the Constitution has no strings of blather!

oy.
 
somebody needs an anti run-on valve.
 
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