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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Mickey Richaud

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this?!? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals all your underlying insecurities.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

ALGORE
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?
 
Mickey,

I really hope you didn't come up with all those all by yourself. Because if you did then you have way too much free time. Thanks for the laughs.
 
DR PHIL
Yes it can be done, but first the Chicken must really want to cross the road.

TEXAS DRIVER
To show the Armadillo that it could be done.
 
NASCAR Driver
Well the chicken had a little push in turn 4 gettin up off the corner I told Jimbob to tighten it up a bit with 1/2 turn of wedge and a pound out of the right rear but this Home Depot, Valvoline, KFC, Coke, Viagra,Chevrolet chicken ran good all day we just couldn't get to the other side of the road and a checkered flag.
 
Why did the chicken cross the road? She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the opussum it could be done. Or, in some areas, to show the armadillo it is possible. T.T.
 
Why did the Chicken cross the Basketball court?

She heard the ref call "Fowl!"
 
Tony, aren't you going to tell us that after the robbery, he took it on the "lamb". And, of all things, it was on "Fox" news.
Ouch.
Jeff
 
Groan! That was very Punny! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jester.gif

I especially liked the part of the story where he confessed to also sticking-up a fast food joint dressed as Santa!
 
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