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Warm My Butt

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How’s that for a “header?” <snort>
Phasers on stun! After using a friend’s heated loo seat many times, my wife felt she had to have one. So… I got her one of those Brondell bidet things, which I’m almost embarrassed to admit (but find it all rather amusing). “Oh, look what Santa brought you?”
New slogan: “old butts matter!”

Yes, it has a heated seat… and heated “washing” and heated “drying” (sort of a built-in scirocco)… and requires a pilot’s license to operate. Fortunately, the remote control is intuitive. In this shot (in a follow-up post below), the remote is sitting on the lid, but it actually “sits” on/in a wall mounting bracket for normal use.
This one isn’t as fancy as a friends, where theirs will open up all by itself when you sneak up on it (“Feed me Seymour”), and automatically close. I thought that was WAY too decadent (but their lady-of-the-house is Japanese, so such freakiness is generally accepted).

For the so-inclined, the installation took all of about 20 minutes on the To-To in our master bathroom. No butt-crack exposed plumber required (though I tried my best imitation).


  • Mark (who feels particularly clean at the moment)
 
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Was there a photo? I'm not seeing it.

Been considering something similar myself; but since I have no outlets in the same room, installation will be a bit more complicated.
 
This is a Brondell "Swash" S1000.
20191226_132549small.jpg
 
Adding... having now used it, I must confess that's it's kinda a neat seat. LOL

Thankfully, when we did a couple of remodels (of a master bathroom and powder-bath) I installed GFI outlets right behind (really next to) each toilet. I figured this would give us (or a future owner) options. So, I was ready to go. Otherwise, you could use a more inelegant extension cord to a nearby GFI... but you must use a GFI outlet for safety. The plumbing part was really easy; one merely installs a provided "T" and use their little hose.

There are higher-end ones, but this seemed like it was more than enough. Lots of Christmas-time sales on these (I got mine delivered to our door from Costco for $300).
 
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Of course, Americans aren't too familiar with bidets. They're everywhere in Europe.

Funny story: friends that live in London had a huge home (he was the Naval Attache' at the embassy) and that house had many bathrooms... essentially one for each of their 4 kids. While visiting, one morning I came upon the 4 year old brushing her teeth using the bidet in "her" bathroom as a perfect-sized sink! LOL
 
We installed "comfort" height toilets in our new home - they're taller - making ingress and egress easier and I thought those were decadent. Living in drought prone areas motivates water conservation, so low / no flush toilets are a must. One step - or flush - away from country living.
 
There's a lot to be said for country living... including no flow/zero-electricity out-houses (though I'd draw the line at going outside on a cold night).
 
That's why they invented the Honey Pot!
Boink said:
There's a lot to be said for country living... including no flow/zero-electricity out-houses (though I'd draw the line at going outside on a cold night).
Click to expand...
 
I went through Junior High in Germany (Dad was Army). They were pretty common there, but they're not a big item over here. Reminds be of a scene in Crocodile Dundee where Mick is in his first New York hotel and is puzzled by the purpose of the Bidet.
 
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Having traveled a lot in Europe and spoken to many over there, I've decided that the difference is due to showering... something Americans do a lot (and is not as common over there). Well, that's my theory. :cool:
 
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