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Understanding a Woman

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jerryrosa

jerryrosa

Jedi Trainee
Offline
We need REALLY MEANS I want

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You want REALLY MEANS You need

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It's your decision REALLY MEANS The correct decision should be obvious by now.

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We need to talk REALLY MEANS I need to complain

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Do what you want REALLY MEANS You'll pay for this later.

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You're ... so manly REALLY MEANS You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

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Sure... go ahead REALLY MEANS I don't want you to.

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I'm not upset REALLY MEANS Of course I'm upset, you moron!

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You're certainly attentive tonight. REALLY MEANS Is sex all you ever think about?
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Be romantic, turn out the lights. REALLY MEANS I'm Embarrassed

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This kitchen is so inconvenient REALLY MEANS I want a new house.

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You have to learn to communicate. REALLY MEANS Just agree with me.

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Yes REALLY MEANS No

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No REALLY MEANS No

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Maybe REALLY MEANS No

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I heard a noise REALLY MEANS I noticed you were almost asleep.

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Do you love me? REALLY MEANS I'm going to ask for something expensive.

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How much do you love me? REALLY MEANS I did something you're not going to like.

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I'll be ready in a minute. REALLY MEANS Be patient I'll be a while.

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Am I a little fat? REALLY MEANS Tell me I'm beautiful.

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I'm sorry. REALLY MEANS You'll be sorry.

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Do you like this recipe? REALLY MEANS It's easy to fix, so get used to it.

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Was that the baby? REALLY MEANS Why don't you wake up and deal with the baby.

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I'm not yelling! REALLY MEANS Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

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All we're going to buy is a soap dish REALLY MEANS Major shopping trip. Did you bring your checkbook?
 
And your point would be?
tongue14.gif
 
UNDERSTANDING MEN


"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

<font color="red">Tag jr, you're it. </font>
 
If Men Were to Rewrite "The Rules"

Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

Rule # 2 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

Rule # 3 It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

Rule # 4 You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both.

Rule # 5 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.

Rule # 6 Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

Rule # 7 When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.


<font color="red">Tag back </font> /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif
 
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