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/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jester.gifTHINGS TO REMEMBER IN LOUISIANA
>
>
> SOUTHERN ETIQUETTE
> 1. Never take a beer to an interview.
> 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting them.
> 3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
> 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
> 5. Even if you're certain that you're included in the will, it's rude
> to drive a U-haul to the funeral.
>
> Dining
> 1. When de-canting the wine from the box, make sure you tilt the paper
> cup and pour slowly so as not to 'bruise' the fruit of the wine.
> 2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your
> hands.
>
> Entertaining in your home
> 1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
> taxidermist.
> 2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his
> manners.
>
> Personal Hygiene
> 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this job should be done in
> private using one's own truck keys.
> 2. Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of money.
> 3. Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days.
> 4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they
> tend to distract from a woman's jewelry, and alter the taste of
> finger
> foods.
>
> Dating (outside the family)
> 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
> 2. Be assertive, Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to
> go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the bathroom walls
> two
> years ago."
> 3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will
> say
> 10:00 PM.
> Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the
> man's
> responsibility to get her to school on time.
>
> Theater Etiquette
> 1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately
> after the movie has ended.
> 2. Refrain from talking to the characters on the screen. Tests have
> proven they can't hear you.
>
> Weddings
> 1. Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
> 2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds might get you shot.
> 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a
> cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
> 4. Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for this special
> occasion.
>
> Driving Etiquette
> 1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is
> loaded and the deer is in sight.
> 2. When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires
> does not always have the right of way.
> 3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
> 4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite
> to ask her to bring back beer too.
> 5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral possession.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> SOUTHERN ETIQUETTE
> 1. Never take a beer to an interview.
> 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting them.
> 3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
> 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
> 5. Even if you're certain that you're included in the will, it's rude
> to drive a U-haul to the funeral.
>
> Dining
> 1. When de-canting the wine from the box, make sure you tilt the paper
> cup and pour slowly so as not to 'bruise' the fruit of the wine.
> 2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your
> hands.
>
> Entertaining in your home
> 1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
> taxidermist.
> 2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his
> manners.
>
> Personal Hygiene
> 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this job should be done in
> private using one's own truck keys.
> 2. Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of money.
> 3. Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days.
> 4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they
> tend to distract from a woman's jewelry, and alter the taste of
> finger
> foods.
>
> Dating (outside the family)
> 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
> 2. Be assertive, Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to
> go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the bathroom walls
> two
> years ago."
> 3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will
> say
> 10:00 PM.
> Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the
> man's
> responsibility to get her to school on time.
>
> Theater Etiquette
> 1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately
> after the movie has ended.
> 2. Refrain from talking to the characters on the screen. Tests have
> proven they can't hear you.
>
> Weddings
> 1. Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
> 2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds might get you shot.
> 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a
> cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
> 4. Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for this special
> occasion.
>
> Driving Etiquette
> 1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is
> loaded and the deer is in sight.
> 2. When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires
> does not always have the right of way.
> 3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
> 4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite
> to ask her to bring back beer too.
> 5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral possession.
>
>
>
>
>
>
