Talking Dog for Sale

[rick_ingram]

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:
'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so... I told the CIA.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard'

 

[DrEntropy]

The scene: L.A. talent scout's office.

The talent scout has just ejected a man with what was supposed to be a tallking dog, the act was pitifully disappointing. He turns to his secretary and says: "No more talking dog acts!"

A day later a man walks in with his cocker spaniel and asks for an appointment, the receptionist tells him they no longer see talking dog talent. He begs and cajoles the poor young woman to a point where she rings the boss. He comes into the lobby and sees the problem immediately. The fella with the dog begins to plead with the guy to just give the pair a chance, whereupon the scout figures it'll take less time to just allow this to play out in the lobby and says: "Okay, go ahead. Show me."

The dog owner then addresses the spaniel and as he points straight up asks it: "What's that?"

The dog looks up and replies: "ROOF! ROOF!"

The talent scout was beet-red and began screaming: "GET OUT! LEAVE NOW! AND NEVER COME BACK!"

As the dejected pair walk through the door the dog turns back to the lobby and clearly says: "Is it a ceiling?!?"

 

[Gliderman8]

Ok, enough imposters. Here's the real talking dog.

Bonus points if you can guess how it's done. I already know.

 

[HealeyRick]

Bonus points if you can guess how it's done. I already know.

It's a trick. The dog is a ventriloquist.

 

[Gliderman8]

It's a trick. The dog is a ventriloquist.

Funny!

 

[Basil]

Bonus points if you can guess how it's done. I already know.

Prosthetic mouth on the dog, who doubles as a ventriloquist dummy for the guy who is a ventriloquist. You can tell it's a mechanical mouth on the dog.

 

[Gliderman8]

We have a

Good job Basil!