Hi Guest!
Hey - did you know if you click on the title of a thread it will take you to the first unread post since you last visited that thread?
but were afraid to ask: 
STOP!! Never post your email address in open forums. Bots can "harvest" your email! If you must share your email use a Private Message or use the 
smilie in place of the real @
Pretty Please - add it to our Events forum(s) and add to the calendar! >> 
aeronca65t
Great Pumpkin
Offline
Steven Wright Quotes:
- Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
- It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
- Earlier today I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
- One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world.
- I bought a self-learning record to learn Spanish. You turn on the record, put the headphones on and learn Spanish in your sleep; during the night the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
- Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
- Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
- There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
- I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
- The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
- Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
- I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
- I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals.
- How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
- If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
- Clones are people two.
- If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
- Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
- If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
- If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
- I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
- So what's the speed of dark?
- How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dissing them anyhow?
- After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
- If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
- I just got skylights put in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious.
- Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
- It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
- Earlier today I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
- One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world.
- I bought a self-learning record to learn Spanish. You turn on the record, put the headphones on and learn Spanish in your sleep; during the night the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
- Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
- Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
- There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
- I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
- The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
- Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
- I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
- I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals.
- How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
- If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
- Clones are people two.
- If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
- Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
- If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
- If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
- I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
- So what's the speed of dark?
- How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dissing them anyhow?
- After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
- If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
- I just got skylights put in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious.
