Steel mill opportunity:

[DrEntropy]

In the mid sixties, two lads in Alabama had just graduated from high school. They'd been pals since first grade, Bobby was a rather responsible lad who'd had a paper route and saved as much of his earnings as he could, his friend Billy was a bit the opposite. They both had hunted around but were finding the only jobs to be had were part time or less money than it took to make ends meet. Bobby decided he would dedicate the last of his savings to getting a bus ticket and heading for Pittsburgh, in hopes of landing a job in one of the steel mills. The following month, Billy gets a letter from his pal saying he's working for Bethlehem Steel, sweeping floors for $17 an hour! He writes Billy that it doesn't matter what he's gotta do to get there but he should do it.

All Billy has for transport is his old Schwinn, the only money in his pocket is a couple singles and some change. He decides he's going to risk it all and ride his bike north. $17 an hour just to sweep some floors was more than he could pass up.

First day of his trip saw him fifty miles north, he slept against his bicycle leaning against a gas station wall. Morning came, he gathered himself up and was getting some water from the station's water hose when a shiny Mustang GT350 pulls up to one of the pumps. He glanced at the rear of the car and it had a Pennsylvania license plate on it! He decided he would take a chance and approached the young guy driving it. Turned out the young man had been in Alabama looking for work, had found some menial jobs but was disgusted and heading back to his home in Pittsburgh. Billy explained his position and nearly begging, asked if there was any way this fella could give him a ride. The guy told Billy his car was packed with all he owned, wasn't even room to stow a toothbrush. Then the guy has an idea. He told Billy he had some rope in his trunk, they would tie the bike to the rear bumper, Billy could use the lifeguard's whistle the fella had in the glovebox to signal he was tired and wanted to pull over for a break...

This routine was working well until about the last stop, Breezewood, to get onto the Pennsylvania Turnpike. They rested and set off westward late into the evening. As an hour passed, the driver was getting really tired, nodding a bit, not too focused. Suddenly he sees in his mirrors a set of headlights coming up on him, closing rapidly. In the passing lane a shiny-new Corvette appeared and paced the Mustang. The Chevy driver revved his engine, dropped the 'vette into third, nailed the gas and took off!

Well, the Mustang pilot now had forgotten poor Billy completely, he became "target fixated"! Dumped that GT's "rock-crusher" into third and gave chase. Just as the Mustang was pulling abreast of the Corvette they had the misfortune to flash past a State Trooper positioned in a well-hidden "blind" along the road. The Trooper hit the gas and the lights and tried as well as his old Ford would allow, to catch the pair. After a few minutes of this futility he had to make the call:

"Okay boys, this is gonna sound a bit nutty, but I swear this is happening right before my eyes: I have a Mustang and a Corvette, drag racing side-by-side, traveling west on the 'pike in excess of 120 miles an hour! Now the crazy bit is: there's some insane kid in bib overalls on a <span style="font-style: italic">bicycle</span>, pedaling his arse off, blowin' a whistle <span style="font-style: italic"><span style="font-weight: bold">and tryin' t' PASS 'Em BOTH!!!"</span> </span>


<span style="font-style: italic">Courtesy of th' guy who used to sign his letters to me: Y.O.M.

...miss him tons.</span>

 

[JPSmit]

:thumbsup:

Nice.

Variation number 1

In the mid sixties, two lads in Alabama had just graduated from high school. They'd been pals since first grade, Bobby was a rather responsible lad who'd had a paper route and saved as much of his earnings as he could, his friend Billy was a bit the opposite. The two of them decide that there is nothing for it but that they need to go to Virginia to work in the coal mines. They put together their last dollars, sell their bicycles take the bus.

Bobby has the first interview. The interviewer looks at his application and asked the relevant question, "do you have any experience?" "Oh yes" says Bobby (stretching the truth slightly) "Well how deep have you mined?" Bobby pretends to think a minute and comes back with "OH, twenty, thirty feet, easy." "Well" says the interviewer, "we are looking for a little deeper than that."

As Bobby is shown out the door he manages to whisper to Billy, "if he asks you how deep you have mined, tell him a big number."

Billy goes in, same question, same answer, "Oh yes, I have experience."

"well how deep have you mined?"

Billy pretends to think a minute, "Oh, ten, twelve thousand feet, he replies." "Wow!" says the interviewer, clearly impressed, "what did you use for lighting down there?"

"Oh I wouldn't know about that" says Billy, "I worked the day shift."

 

[Gliderman8]

<span style="font-style: italic">Courtesy of th' guy who used to sign his letters to me: Y.O.M.

...miss him tons.</span>

That's the best part.

 

[DrEntropy]

You keep yourself safe, Elliot! :wink: