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The last one is my favorite... enjoy (or hurl rotten tomatoes my way 
):
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
):Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.