Hi Guest!
Hey - did you know if you click on the title of a thread it will take you to the first unread post since you last visited that thread?
but were afraid to ask: 
STOP!! Never post your email address in open forums. Bots can "harvest" your email! If you must share your email use a Private Message or use the 
smilie in place of the real @
Pretty Please - add it to our Events forum(s) and add to the calendar! >> 
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But they are funny in any case!
SCREWUPS OF THE YEAR
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim
during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
**************************************************
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of
its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a
finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
**************************************************
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
**************************************************
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental
hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and
prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
SCREWUPS OF THE YEAR
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim
during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
**************************************************
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of
its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a
finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
**************************************************
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
**************************************************
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental
hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and
prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
