Newlyweds

[Steve]

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them,
"We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain
from having sex for two weeks." The couple agreed and came back at the
end of two weeks.

The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks
without being intimate?"

"Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two
weeks," the young man replied.

"What happened?" inquired the pastor.

"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it.
When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took
advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in
our church," stated the pastor.

"That's okay," said the young man. "We're not welcome at the grocery
store anymore either."

 

[TypeRboy]

Love it...

 

[aeronca65t]

I was eating when I read this...I almost spit on the screen laughing.

 

[78Z]

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up.
The doctor asks him how he's feeling.

The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considers his question for a minute and says, "I have a friend who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella rather than his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his umbrella and went; "Bang, bang," and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?"

The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."