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[FONT="]When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... Now, as a grown
up, it just feels like a small vacation!
I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll
remember it."
Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage
to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally
snap!
I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no"
which is shorter than "yes".
I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that
second week.
Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... But it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to
someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I
came in there for.
Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... That makes it a plant which
means ... Chocolate is Salad.
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes;
come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller![/FONT]
up, it just feels like a small vacation!
I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
Old age is coming at a really bad time!
The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll
remember it."
Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage
to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally
snap!
I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise.
My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no"
which is shorter than "yes".
I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that
second week.
Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... But it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to
someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I
came in there for.
Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... That makes it a plant which
means ... Chocolate is Salad.
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes;
come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller![/FONT]