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New Government Liquor Warnings!

kyreb1862

Jedi Knight
Offline
LIQUOR WARNING
Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, leaving you unable to account for large chunks of time.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel gode /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jester.gif
 
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The consumption of alcohol may cause you not to care about government warnings... or any other kind.... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jester.gif
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcahol may affect your ability to convincingly explain to your boss why your 3 hours late, and wearing underwear as headgear.
 
had a tee shirt once that said "I drink to make other people more interesting"
 
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