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Natural Laws

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I suspect these have been around for decades- but hope they're new or worth seeing again....

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that something on your car won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

The Lockers Law:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
 
excellent! I've never seen them either. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thumbsup.gif
I see you took the final one for your own.
I guess that one is ~insert your name here~ s law
It definatly applies to me /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
 
"Johnson" is actually THE most common name in US phonebooks...


You want trivia? My wee noggin' has NOTHING in it but useless, trivial info! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
"Johnson" is actually THE most common name in US phonebooks...

[/ QUOTE ]

Googled "Johnson's Law" and found:

https://www.wine-people.com/johnsonslaw.htm

[ QUOTE ]
Johnson's Law of Expectations

INTRODUCTORY NOTE: Most male wine geeks love to futz with numbers — whether they be scores, vintage dates, alcohol percentages, degrees brix, RS figures, rootstock IDs, cepage fractions, cellar temperatures or whatever else. If you do too, the following is mandatory reading. If not, well, I bet you don't like baseball either.


----------------

(December 19, 1998) Isn't it enchanting when a suspect bottle behaves beautifully?

The reverse is also true — it can be devastating when a highly regarded bottle falls short. (Something we all are experiencing more often as prices march to the moon.)

Tasting notes almost always fail to account for this.

Anyhow, I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I'm ready now to unveil...

Johnson's Law of Expectations

P = 2R - E

That's all there is to it. P is Pleasure, R is Results and E is Expectations — all, as measured in Parker Points.

So let's say you have a bottle of 1982 Margaux. Your Expectations are 96. Your Results are 86. But your actual Pleasure is only a measly 76, because it falls so short of your high expectations.

Conversely, let's say you open a 1980 Clerc-Milon. Your Expectations are 79. Your Results, a very respectable 85. But your Pleasure, by my law, registers a lofty 91, because your expectations were so happily exceeded.



[/ QUOTE ]

Sheesh... too much like hard work.

Wonder if scores are positively correlated with quantities drunk? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jester.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/devilgrin.gif
 
No doubt! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cheers.gif
 
I thought you were just supposed to swish the wine around in your mouth, then spit it out and say "that is unacceptable bring another immediately"... Do that about 4 or 5 times, and then order a C.A.B.... in the bottle please. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jester.gif
 
mwuhaahaa!!!

a fitting retort to a "corked" vino.
 
[ QUOTE ]
I thought you were just supposed to swish the wine around in your mouth, then spit it out ....

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds like a tease to me.... gets the E for expectations up and then delivers nothing for R the results....

Johnson's law- seems to suggest that you should drink lots (R up) of really cheap (low E) wine to maximize P.

until the hangover hits.... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/nopity.gif
 
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