Hi Guest!
Hey - did you know if you click on the title of a thread it will take you to the first unread post since you last visited that thread?
but were afraid to ask: 
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Received this today - looks interesting:
Dear Reverend:
We are sure that you have come across our extremely successful products already.
Among our lines are cardboard police cars to discourage
speeding and cardboard policemen to deter shoplifters. As well as other standard lines.
Following on the success of these, we are pleased to announce that we can now supply cardboard clergy.
The cardboard minister is invaluable to hard-pressed clergy
who need a holiday. It is life sized and comes in progressive, middle of the road and Tridentine models. It is especially effective when stood behind the lectern.
Field trials have shown that when the cardboard clergy was
installed without the congregation knowing. 40 per cent of those later questioned had noticed no difference. 25 per cent said there had been a considerable improvement.
Soon we hope to have available a cardboard Bishop which can
be placed in the Diocese while the real Bishop is away in Canterbury.
Trial models have been installed for some time in the Bishop's conference without being detected. One is even said to have made a short excellent speech related to its topic.
Work on the cardboard Dean has unfortunately been abandoned. Market research demonstrated that since nobody actually wants the real thing, there would therefore not be much demand for the cardboard substitute.
However, our cardboard congregation is now on the market and selling well. Its response to homilies is indistinguishable from the real thing and it has the positive advantage that when volunteers are called for nobody makes a dash for the door. In some churches there has even been a marked improvement in the singing.
Yours faithfully
C. Board
Marketing Director
Dear Reverend:
We are sure that you have come across our extremely successful products already.
Among our lines are cardboard police cars to discourage
speeding and cardboard policemen to deter shoplifters. As well as other standard lines.
Following on the success of these, we are pleased to announce that we can now supply cardboard clergy.
The cardboard minister is invaluable to hard-pressed clergy
who need a holiday. It is life sized and comes in progressive, middle of the road and Tridentine models. It is especially effective when stood behind the lectern.
Field trials have shown that when the cardboard clergy was
installed without the congregation knowing. 40 per cent of those later questioned had noticed no difference. 25 per cent said there had been a considerable improvement.
Soon we hope to have available a cardboard Bishop which can
be placed in the Diocese while the real Bishop is away in Canterbury.
Trial models have been installed for some time in the Bishop's conference without being detected. One is even said to have made a short excellent speech related to its topic.
Work on the cardboard Dean has unfortunately been abandoned. Market research demonstrated that since nobody actually wants the real thing, there would therefore not be much demand for the cardboard substitute.
However, our cardboard congregation is now on the market and selling well. Its response to homilies is indistinguishable from the real thing and it has the positive advantage that when volunteers are called for nobody makes a dash for the door. In some churches there has even been a marked improvement in the singing.
Yours faithfully
C. Board
Marketing Director
