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Jeneral Principle Smit?

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The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances." During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up." At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner." And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
 
Nice.

A man is lying on his deathbed, he calls for Father Mickey. Father he says, If I leave a million dollars to the church, will I get to heaven?

Well says Mickey, I can't promise you anything but it's worth a try.
 
:thumbsup:

Old Brother Dave routine:

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A EXTREMELY miserly man of tremendous means, when on his death bed, instructed his wife, "Get ALL of my money and put it in plastic bags in the attic. This way, as I pass, I can grab it and take it with me." Many years later, when his grandchildren were helping the quite elderly widow of meager means prepare to move into a senior center, one of the great grandkids came racing into the room with fistfuls of very old money.
"Gran, look what I found!"
"Where did you find this?!?"
"In the attic, Gran!"
The family made their way to the attic and there, just as they were left the day he died, were the bags of the miserly husband's money.

"Dagnabbital..", said Gran, "I KNEW I should have put those bags in the BASEMENT!!!"
 
A man lived a life of which he wasn't especially proud. As he came to the end of his days, he decided to go to church, just in case. He's sitting in church and as the plate starts around, he reaches for he wallet. First he pulls out a $50, but puts it back thinking, "I need to get some groceries on the way home." Then he pulls out a $20 but puts it back too thinking, "I need to stop for lunch." Finally he pulls out a $5 and puts it in the plate.

Sure enough, the next week he dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. St Peter looks up the name in the book, looks up quickly and says, "please wait here, I need to check something." He disappears and returns about 5 minutes later.

St Peter says, "I checked with the boss and he says, here's your $5 back, you can go to h*ll."
 
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