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It's SATURDAY!

Mickey Richaud

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A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

"Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG.

"High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."
 
Johnny Carson is talking with George Burns on the Tonight Show.

"George - you're over 90 and still going strong. What's your secret?"

"Well, back when I was 60, my doctor told me to give up whisky, cigars, and women."

"But George, you're sitting here smoking a cigar, you had a drink before the show, and you arrived tonight with three gorgeous blondes. What does your doctor say now?"

"Nothing - my doctor died 20 years ago."

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