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JamesWilson
Yoda
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***** News Flash *****
Having lunch in his favourite pub with colleagues today, Prof. P R G Ffolkes-Smythe was overheard discussing confidential, private research recently undertaken by his Statistical Studies Group.
His research has apparently shown that fuel economy may be substantially improved by exceedingly modest changes in the distribution of petrol within the USA.
Prof. Ffolkes-Smythe has determined that a simple change to utilizing Imperial Gallons will almost certainly improve fuel economy as gauged by miles per gallon (MPG) figures.
The increase was on the order of roughly 25%.
He said: “The theoretical basis for the improvement has long been understood. Indeed, the sods at the Engineering & Physical Sciences Research Council rejected my research proposal- saying that it offered nothing new, and was trivial. Trivial!”
But a rigorous field study has underscored the potential MPG improvements.
One of the professor’s collegues was heard to remark: “The statistical significance of the findings exceeds 99.9%; an incredibly convincing result. The Americans will be falling all over themselves to go Imperial, now. Damnable shame there’s no patent on it....”
Prof. Ffolkes-Smythe noted that the study controlled for multiple confounding factors: type of vehicle, city or motorway driving conditions, vehicle condition, driver intoxication, weather, phase of the moon, etc. In every case, the use of Imperial gallons increased MPG by virtually one quarter.
The conversion will not be entirely painless, but no vehicle will need be altered to effect the introduction of Imperial gallons- engines and fuel induction systems need not change at all, pollution control systems are known to be unaffected by the conversion. And although fuel tanks remain unchanged, they might seem smaller to the uninformed.
Most petrol stations should adapt readily as well, at little cost and with minor disruption to operations.
Prof. Ffolkes-Smythe sniffily dismissed suggestions that conversion to the Litre might allow comparable savings: “Quite the contrary,” he is reported to have said, “using the Litre would simply reduce us all to the same low level as the French. Frightful prospect that, eh, wot?”
Owners of British Cars should enjoy a modest advantage in having cars known to have been designed with Imperial gallons in mind. Reduced oil leakage is an anticipated additional benefit to these owners....
Having lunch in his favourite pub with colleagues today, Prof. P R G Ffolkes-Smythe was overheard discussing confidential, private research recently undertaken by his Statistical Studies Group.
His research has apparently shown that fuel economy may be substantially improved by exceedingly modest changes in the distribution of petrol within the USA.
Prof. Ffolkes-Smythe has determined that a simple change to utilizing Imperial Gallons will almost certainly improve fuel economy as gauged by miles per gallon (MPG) figures.
The increase was on the order of roughly 25%.
He said: “The theoretical basis for the improvement has long been understood. Indeed, the sods at the Engineering & Physical Sciences Research Council rejected my research proposal- saying that it offered nothing new, and was trivial. Trivial!”
But a rigorous field study has underscored the potential MPG improvements.
One of the professor’s collegues was heard to remark: “The statistical significance of the findings exceeds 99.9%; an incredibly convincing result. The Americans will be falling all over themselves to go Imperial, now. Damnable shame there’s no patent on it....”
Prof. Ffolkes-Smythe noted that the study controlled for multiple confounding factors: type of vehicle, city or motorway driving conditions, vehicle condition, driver intoxication, weather, phase of the moon, etc. In every case, the use of Imperial gallons increased MPG by virtually one quarter.
The conversion will not be entirely painless, but no vehicle will need be altered to effect the introduction of Imperial gallons- engines and fuel induction systems need not change at all, pollution control systems are known to be unaffected by the conversion. And although fuel tanks remain unchanged, they might seem smaller to the uninformed.
Most petrol stations should adapt readily as well, at little cost and with minor disruption to operations.
Prof. Ffolkes-Smythe sniffily dismissed suggestions that conversion to the Litre might allow comparable savings: “Quite the contrary,” he is reported to have said, “using the Litre would simply reduce us all to the same low level as the French. Frightful prospect that, eh, wot?”
Owners of British Cars should enjoy a modest advantage in having cars known to have been designed with Imperial gallons in mind. Reduced oil leakage is an anticipated additional benefit to these owners....
