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I had amnesia

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bugimike

bugimike

Yoda
Offline
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't
know what to feed it.
*****
I had amnesia once -- or twice
*****.
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now
what?
*****
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were
Catholic.
*****
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make
me happy.
*****
If the world were a logical place, men would be the
ones who ride horses side saddle.
*****
They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
*****
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home
and, when he grows up,
he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
******
Experience is the thing you have left when everything
else is gone.
*****
My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
*****
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
*****
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity
*****
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you
explain whales?
*****
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and
I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
*****
Is it me--or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
 
Kind of in the same vein:
1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2, Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

4. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

5. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

7. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

8. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

9. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

10. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

11. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

12. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

13. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.

14. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

15. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

16. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

17. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

18. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

19. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
Jeff
 
Good one Jeff! My Mum sent me the ones I posted. I sent her yours...she thought they were a hoot!! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif
 
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