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Rob_T
Senior Member
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heck EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is heck exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of heck is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into heck and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to heck, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering heck, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to heck.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to heck. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in heck to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in heck because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in heck to stay the same, the volume of heck has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If heck is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter heck, then the temperature and pressure in heck will increase until all heck breaks loose.
2. If heck is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in heck, then the temperature and pressure will drop until heck freezes over. So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in heck before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that heck is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since heck has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is heck exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of heck is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into heck and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to heck, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering heck, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to heck.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to heck. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in heck to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in heck because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in heck to stay the same, the volume of heck has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If heck is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter heck, then the temperature and pressure in heck will increase until all heck breaks loose.
2. If heck is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in heck, then the temperature and pressure will drop until heck freezes over. So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in heck before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that heck is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since heck has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
