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Health Q/A for Geezers

T

Tinster

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HEALTH QUESTION ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables . So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit.Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening.... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. I n fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.



Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"
 
Someone please show that to my cardiologist! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/nopity.gif /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/thirsty.gif
 
I am in total agreement with all of the answers!
And might I add, I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it's Buddha. /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif
Jeff
 
/bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif & so far, its been one helluva ride! (hehehe - snuck that one by!)
 
Define Geezer.
 
I'm liken the ride as well.
 
vping said:
Define Geezer.

From the Urban Dictionary....

GEEZER

In the U.K.: A guy, a bloke, a person in general. The British equivalent of the American slang word "dude".

In the U.S.: An old man, particularly one who is either cranky or eccentric. Rather derogatory term.

(UK) "You're looking for Johnny? Yeah, he's that geezer over there in the green coat."

(US) "Old man Anderson keeps yelling at the kids playing outside. That geezer!"
 
tinster, /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/lol.gif we had an aviation manager that was a long distance runner back in the day when the "stress test" was all the craze he kept pestering our chief pilot to have all the flight crews take one, to show how valuable they were he went and took it himself just as the test was ending he had a stoke right there in the doc's office never did return to work poor geezer.
 
To geeze: verb, transitive- as in to exhibit
befuddled behavior similar to Mr. MaGoo.

ie: You pour a cup of coffee from the cold pot,
intending to warm it in the microwave. Instead,
you place the cup in the fridge and return a minute
or two later, open the microwave looking to get
your warmed coffee.

You have just "geezed".

tinster
 
"Geez" that sounds familiar!! Did I just say that...or did I just hear it? /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazyeyes.gif
 
Tinster said:
To geeze: verb, transitive- as in to exhibit
befuddled behavior similar to Mr. MaGoo.

ie: You pour a cup of coffee from the cold pot,
intending to warm it in the microwave. Instead,
you place the cup in the fridge and return a minute
or two later, open the microwave looking to get
your warmed coffee.

You have just "geezed".

tinster
That reminds me of something I saw recently in the British Press; the latest acronym (verb?) is WILF'ing; it means "What was I looking For?" Seems to describe my situation perfectly when I get out to the garage and can't remember why I was going there. It's really got two W's but don't let that hold you back from using it!
 
Dale, you'd make a good Cajun. /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazy.gif
 
My WILFing skills are improving daily.
 
Good info,but what about tobacco? I'm feeling discriminated against. It definately improves the vocal chords, have you heard Dylans new tunes?
 
BOXoROCKS said:
Good info,but what about tobacco? I'm feeling discriminated against. It definately improves the vocal chords, have you heard Dylans new tunes?

Yeah?? Well come check mine!!! I just beat CA of the vocal chords!!! Dylans voice was shot when he began (but I still love him), I certainly don't think cigarettes IMPROVED it!!
 
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