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funny, but scary!!

gjh2007

Jedi Warrior
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This kinda sounds like some auto dealer techs filling out a work order. It's bad enough there, but not at an airline; yikes!!

Subject: Qantas Airlines


After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the
problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what
remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before
the next flight.


Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as
submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance


engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had
an accident.


(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)


(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)


P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.


S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.


S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


P: Something loose in cockpit.


S: Something tightened in cockpit.


P: Dead bugs on windshield.


S: Live bugs on back-order.


P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.


S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.


S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.


S: DME volume set to more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.


S: That's what they're there for.


P: IFF inoperative.


S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


P: Suspected crack in windshield.


S: Suspect you're right.


P: Number 3 engine missing.


S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny.


S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


P: Target radar hums.


S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


P: Mouse in cockpit.


S: Cat installed.


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.


S: Took hammer away from midget

p.s. while flying from Boston to NY weekly on commuter planes I remember the kids fueling up the plane (a SAAB Sp340 Turbo prop). Anyway I usually sat behind the pilot & they would very often leave the cockpit door open (boy, times have changed) I used to like to watch the goings on in the cockpit. Well he starts taxing out to the runway when he lets out an expletive, whips around parks the plane, jumps out an after reaching up to the wing gets back in & says "I've had them leave the gas cap off on my car, but this is ridiculous!"

p.s. the kid had his (hat/head?) on backwards.
 
I've seen this in many forms over the years, always attributed to "actual maintenance logs" from military pilots in Canada, the US, UK, or airlines such as United Airlines, Quanta, Air Canada, etc. Its funny, but I'd take its truth with an enormous grain of salt.
 
I've seen, and written, similar answers on trouble reports around here, but I only work at a power plant
 
[ QUOTE ]
I've seen, and written, similar answers on trouble reports around here, but I only work at a power plant

[/ QUOTE ]

Nuclear? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif
 
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