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from our local club newsletter @bmco.org

philman

Jedi Knight
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Satire From Across The Pond … TREMENDOUSLY RICH TRAMP BUYS ROVER

There was shock in the car industry this (week) with news that creepy billionaire Malcolm Glazer is to buy bankrupt British car maker MG-Rover. The American tycoon, who has already netted a controlling stake in Manchester United, has beaten off stiff competition from a number of rival British bidders, most of whom appeared to have assessed the way in which the previous owners' business model failed and then decided to copy it anyway.

Little is known about the reclusive Glazer, other than that he looks like he can't even afford basic personal hygiene products, but a few select details about his plans for MG-Rover have slipped out. First off, the weird looking magnate plans to merge the bankrupt company with his newly acquired football team to form a combined car making and football playing concern called Manchester Rovers. However, this is the just the start of an even more controversial plan to move the soccer team's home to the MG-Rover factory in Longbridge. "This is a very brave scheme but it does make sense," said football and cars expert Beckid Davham. "After all, car production usually only happens from Monday to Friday and football matches are usually on Saturdays so it all fits perfectly. Plus, MG-Rover were known for the flexibility of their Longbridge plant so they should have no problem with packing up all the robots on a Friday evening and filling the main assembly hall with a pitch, dressing rooms and stands with capacity for 70,000 fans. Most teams would kill for a stadium with a roof and now Manchester Rovers will get one for minimal outlay. Mind you, the roof isn't that high. But as long as Glazer doesn't buy a rugby team, that shouldn't be a problem".

Although the plan to move Manchester United to a site in South Birmingham isn't without potential snags, it is sure to be popular with the team's supporters because it will be closer to where most of them live.
 
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