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Don't Say These To A Cop

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kyreb1862

kyreb1862

Jedi Knight
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1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in..
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
5. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
6. I pay your salary!
7. So, uh, you on the take, or what?
8. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
9. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
10. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car
around-that's how far ahead of me they are.
11. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of money from the bank robbery, my
gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal,
forcing me to speed out of control.
12. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
 
Years ago, I was in a hurry in a sportscar I owned at the time (not British)...came around a curve on an interstate in Tennessee & ran past a state trooper laying in wait.....lights, sirens, and some miles down the road he stopped me....walked up to my car & asked for license, etc & went back to his car.....

He came back with the ticket & told me <span style="font-style: italic">"Sir, I clocked you at 110mph"</span> as he handed me the ticket to sign....<span style="font-style: italic">"Hmmmm, my speedo must be off,"</span> I replied. <span style="font-style: italic">"I thought I was running 137mph!"</span> (I might've said 'Da..n' or something like that.)

<span style="font-style: italic">"S-of-a-B! Play the wise as- with me and see what it gets you!"</span> he exclaimed as he yanked the ticket & my license from me. <span style="font-style: italic">"Follow me to the local court house."</span>

When we got there, the judge was nowhere around so the deputy on duty told me I'd have to post a bond or spend the weekend in jail. <span style="font-style: italic">"H-, I'll take a weekend in jail to relax; lemme call my wife."</span>

So, the deputy asked me if I owned land in Tennessee and, when he found out I did, he released me without a bond on just my word that I'd be at the court date the officer had put on the ticket.

The day when my case was called, the judge asked me for my statement - I went through everything just as I have here. Judge asked the trooper if everything I said was true...trooper agreed with my story.

<span style="font-style: italic">"Case dismissed."</span> The judge said. <span style="font-style: italic">"Officer Whatever, regardless of how much of a smart aleck the a-hole is, you can't curse him."</span>

TRUE STORY!!
 
Took delivery of a, then, brand new 300ZX and had just enough time to make a meeting in Atlanta (65 miles). After the meeting took off for Valdosta (4 hour drive) on I-75. Just south of (then) Fulton County Stadium the blue lights came on.

"Speed - 87 miles per hour"..."you in a hurry, son?"...GHP calls everyone 'son' regardless of age. "Yes sir" says I...I call all constables "sir" regardless of age..."got a meeting in Valdosta later this afternoon".

"What kind of meeting?" he asked..."With University System of Georgia folks" I replied.

"Oh, so you work for the state...so do I" he says..."no way you can afford this...let's call it a complimentary citation (means a warning)...keep it under 75, that's our target for today...have a good one".

And off I went. Restored my faith in mankind.

Ray
 
mccalebr said:
Took delivery of a, then, brand new 300ZX and had just enough time to make a meeting in Atlanta (65 miles). After the meeting took off for Valdosta (4 hour drive) on I-75. Just south of (then) Fulton County Stadium the blue lights came on.

"Speed - 87 miles per hour"..."you in a hurry, son?"...GHP calls everyone 'son' regardless of age. "Yes sir" says I...I call all constables "sir" regardless of age..."got a meeting in Valdosta later this afternoon".

"What kind of meeting?" he asked..."With University System of Georgia folks" I replied.

"Oh, so you work for the state...so do I" he says..."no way you can afford this...let's call it a complimentary citation (means a warning)...keep it under 75, that's our target for today...have a good one".

And off I went. Restored my faith in mankind.

Ray
Click to expand...


Reminds me of when I got pulled over by Snellville's finest. I was doing 50 in a 30, and I knew I was caught, so I had pulled over right across the street from where they had the speed trap set up. He came over, asked me what the deal was, and I told him, "Sir, I wasn't watching my speed when I came down the hill in neutral." After he called a second unit (I had been to Charlie Elliot WMA range earlier in the day, and I had some of my Enfields, and my AR in the back seat), he came back to me with a ticket, and told me "I'd let you off with a warning, but state law requires me to write a ticket if you're 20 over." I signed it, drove the 1 mile back to my house, and didn't even look at the ticket. Later on I went to city hall to pay the ticket, and we had some trouble finding the ticket in the system as I didn't have my copy of it. Turns out he misspelled my name, and got the color of the car wrong. As I couldn't take the time off of work to go to court over it, and he had me dead to rights, I plead nolo then paid the ticket. As the machine was processing my credit card, the judge came out, and started to chat with the clerk, the subject of my ticket came up, and he told me I should have fought it, when I explained the situation, he said it was too late as it was entered in the system, but he would have granted me a continuance so I could fight it and he would have thrown it out.

I ran into the same officer about six months later, and he asked me if I took care of the ticket, and I told him I paid it. He told me, "You dummy, I got the info purposely wrong so the judge would throw it out."




I should have fought it. I still wave to that same officer anytime I see that he has a speed trap set up, and I don't speed anymore.
 
I had just gotten my Specialty license plates for my Kit Car (a Ferrari 308 replica built on a 86 Pontiac Fiero) and was on the way home.

308%20just%20before%20it%20was%20sold.jpg


As I crested a hill next to a College, there he was, sitting along the side of the road waiting for a college student or someone else not paying attention to the (low for a 4 lane separated "parkway") speed limit. I was doing ~ 50+ on a 40 speed limit.

Lights went on and I just pulled up to his rear bumper and stopped.

Comes up to me and the first words out of his mouth were "I never pulled over a Ferrari before!"

My response "Sorry officer, you still haven't." The look I got was half confusion and half attitude. I then proceed to tell him it was a replica (more confusion) Kit Car? I volunteered. The light comes on. :rolleyes:

I then tell him this was the car's first outing since completed and I could prove it due to the license plates were picked up that afternoon (had the paperwork with the dates) and I was not sure how far the speedo was off was since I hadn't had a chance to check it yet.

He then proceeds to look over the car and asks a bunch of questions and then tells me of a couple of speedo shops in the area that could get my speedo right and lets me go!!

I thank him and proceeded home at the posted speed limit which my speedo was displaying correctly. :wink:

That was my reminder that you DO NOT DRIVE Over the speed limit with a BRIGHT RED FOREIGN (looking) SPORTS CAR!!!!

I had a couple of other adventures with police with that car in the 3 years I drove it after finishing it before I sold it. Never a ticket tho'. Was in a parade with a police car thru OK City. I'm in the right lane, he in the left lane, both doing the speed limit of 55 with a BUNCH of cars lined up behind us! :laugh:

Paul
 
Paul - that's a great looking kit car....which kit is it? Did you lengthen the Fiero?
 
It is a copy of a MERA which was sold by Pontiac Dealers in 1987-1988 before Ferrari shut it down.

The chassis was not cut to put the body kit on and it was produced locally to me (at the time) by Custom Coachcraft (long out of business) of Aledo, TX (SW of Fort Worth, TX)

Unlike a lot of the Ferrari kit cars like this (308-328) I changed out the interior. (and YES, it is all black leather!)

308%20Interior.jpg


Paul
 
Ah, I've heard of the MERA...apparently, the best copy out there, if you could find one!
 
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