Daffynitions

[Mickey Richaud]

[FONT=&quot]The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]Here are the winners: [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ...well, you know. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]5. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. [/FONT]



[FONT=&quot]6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of scoring. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]12. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]13. Glibido: All talk and no action. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]15. Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. [/FONT]

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[FONT=&quot]17. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. [/FONT]

 

[Gliderman8]

Sabbath: A car wash for Swedish autos.

Samurai: Choose between Samuel and me.

Bacteria: The rear of a cafeteria