Daffynitions

[Mickey Richaud]

Tourist: A person who travels 1000 miles to get a picture of himself next to his car.

Mental Block: A street on which several psychiatrists live.

In-laws: Advice squad.

Old timer: One who remembers when people who wore blue jeans worked.

Short-cut: Often the longest way.

Swell-head: Nature's frantic effort to fill a vacuum.

Dow Jones Average: A number expressed in roamin' numerals.

 

[martx-5]

autopsy — A dying practice.

bargain — Something that makes you think you’re saving money when you’re spending it.

committee — A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

dust — Mud with the juice squeezed out.

hanging — A suspended sentence.

jury — A panel of twelve untrained in law who are asked their legal opinion.

lottery — A tax on people who are lousy at math.

politics — Where truth lies.

religion — Where you find prophets and non-profits.

shin — What you use to find furniture in the dark.

suburbia — Where they cut down trees and put in streets named after them

yawn — An honest opinion openly expressed.

 

[Silverghost]

Progress - to move forward and achieve goals

Congress - the opposite of Progress

Copulation - when three or more members of law enforcement gather at the same spot at the same time, examples include crime scenes and donut shops.

 

[Mickey Richaud]

Dermatologist: Doctor who makes rash judgments.

Caucus: The part of the animal left for the buzzards.

Millionaire: A billionaire after taxes.

Polygon: A heathen who has many wives.

Shock absorber: Cross between an electric eel and a sponge.

Desk: A wastebasket with drawers.

Chip on the Shoulder: That which indicates there is wood higher up.

Diplomat: One who says you have an open mind instead of a hole in your head.