Corn Collection

[Popeye]

A man is at his house when he hears a loud knock on his door. He looks out the window and sees a police officer so he opens up and says, "Hello officer, what can I do for you?"

[FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, lucida grande, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]The officer says, "I'm sorry sir, but you're under arrest for illegally downloading all of Wikipedia."[/FONT]

Frantically, the man replies, "Officer wait, I can explain everything!"

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I was watching an Australian cooking show, and people started cheering when the chef made a meringue.

I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.

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A math professor walks into his classroom with a black eye.

Student: What happened professor?

Prof: I got into a fight.

Student: With who?

Prof: Numbers that aren’t divisible by 2.

Class Clown: I guess the odds were against you.

 

[Mickey Richaud]

Hey, Bas - if you're missing your joke book, methinks Mike has it.

 

[Gliderman8]

Hey, Bas - if you're missing your joke book, methinks Mike has it.

Not to worry Mickey. Bas’s joke book is safer than the Colonel’s secret recipe.

 

[waltesefalcon]

Not to worry Mickey. Bas’s joke book is safer than the Colonel’s secret recipe.

It's been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar buried in Doc's back yard since yesterday evening.

 

[NutmegCT]

It's been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar buried in Doc's back yard since yesterday evening.

Walt, remember ...

"I hold in my hand the envelopes. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Price Waterhouse's back porch since noon today. No one knows the contents of these envelopes – but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions."

(or words to that effect ...)

Wow, do I ever miss '60s TV.

 

[AngliaGT]

It's been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar buried in Doc's back yard since yesterday evening.

BIG MISTAKE - it should have been put on Funk & Wagnell's front porch.

 

[Popeye]

Do you believe in Magic? I’ve teleported the book to me...

[At a wedding]

Priest: Repeat after me...

Groom: After me.

Priest, to bride: Is he serious?

Bride: No, his name is Gary.

 

[pdplot]

Question - "Sis, boom, baa".
Answer - "What is the sound of an exploding sheep?"