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Bubba Knows Everybody

jerrybny

Jedi Knight
Offline
Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.

"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Bubb on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Bubba.

"My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"
 
Sounds like a couple people I know, and I know their names /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/devilgrin.gif

I see James made it to mass that day though /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif -Bubba
 
That joke is ancient... and still great.

I heard it as a kid, slightly different details... and "Catzy" instead of Bubba.

Thanks, Jerry!
 
My daughter used to use it inserting my name where 'bubba' is.....still a good joke after all these years!
 
A man walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi
just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says,
"Perfect timing. You're just like Bubba."
"Who?"

"Bubba. There's a guy who did everything right.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have
happened like that to Bubba every single time."

"There are always a few clouds over everybody."

"Not Bubba. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone
on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He
sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway
star."

"He was something, huh?"

"He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's
birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with.
He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and
the whole neighborhood blacks out."

"No wonder you remember him."

"Well, I never actually met Bubba."

"Then how do you know so much about him?"

"I married his widow."
 
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif - doesn't meet the missus standards I guess /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
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