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blonde mortician

weewillie

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A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'


To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'
 
Eeeewww... didn't see that one coming. :laugh:
 
Yuck! Funny though.
 
True story. A funeral home I worked with a decade ago HAD a blonde funeral director. She is working a funeral and actually driving the hearse. Behind in the family limo, family is following along when suddenly one son bursts into hysterical laughter. Family finally gets him calmed down enough to explain what's going on, and with tears running down his face he says, "Dad always said, if he had to go he wanted to go in a Cadillac with a blonde at the wheel." :jester:
 
Priceless, J-P!
 
A few years ago my wife's great aunt passed away and at the funeral there was about 2" of snow in the cemetery and of course the driver of the hearse was blonde and also no snow tires on it, well didn't it get stuck going uphill and the first 4 or 5 cars following we had to get out and push the hearse up the hill. I guess the old girl didn't want to go .
 
NY Press photographer Awards.... from NY Daily News March, 2011
 

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