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As I get older

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Basil

Basil

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All apply except #7 (I don't imbibe)

as I get older.jpg
 
Not sure why this is in the humour section? It is too true.
 
Make an excellent documentary
 
OH Man!
That # 10 absolutely spot on
 
#5. By the time I find a pen and paper I forget what I was going to write down. Sometimes it happens in the middle of a
 
Darwin said:
#5. By the time I find a pen and paper I forget what I was going to write down. Sometimes it happens in the middle of a
Click to expand...

I once drove, very deliberately, to Home Depot after work. Got out and walked into the store. Once I got there I realized I had no idea what I went there to get!
 
Ever stand in front of the bathroom door and wonder whether you just came out or needed to go in?
 
Two old pharts, John and Harry walking down the street having the following conversation.
John: Windy isn't it?
Harry: No it's Thursday.
John: Yeah, me too. Let's go to O'Leary's for a pint or two.
 
Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live in a house together.

One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs, "was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses.

"Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says,

"I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure, then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
 
I find I have an increasing desire to tell people what they're doing wrong in their lives, such as "put the &$%@@ phone down and pay attention" or "by &#^^ pants that fit".... Fortunately I suppose I usually manage to just say these things in my head and mot out loud.
 
A man is talking to the family doctor.


“Doc,” he says, “I think my wife’s going deaf.”


“Really?” says the doctor. “Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep doing this until she answers. Then you’ll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is.”


The man goes home and tries what the doctor told him. He walks in the front door, spots his wife across the room and says, “Hi, honey. What’s for dinner?”


He doesn’t hear an answer, so he moves closer to her.


“Honey, what’s for dinner?” he repeats.


Still no answer. He asks her several more times, until he’s standing just a few feet away from her.


Finally, she answers, “For the eleventh time, I said we’re having MEATLOAF!”
 
Popeye said:
A man is talking to the family doctor.


“Doc,” he says, “I think my wife’s going deaf.”


“Really?” says the doctor. “Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep doing this until she answers. Then you’ll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is.”


The man goes home and tries what the doctor told him. He walks in the front door, spots his wife across the room and says, “Hi, honey. What’s for dinner?”


He doesn’t hear an answer, so he moves closer to her.


“Honey, what’s for dinner?” he repeats.


Still no answer. He asks her several more times, until he’s standing just a few feet away from her.


Finally, she answers, “For the eleventh time, I said we’re having MEATLOAF!”
Click to expand...

Guilty!
 
mikephillips said:
I find I have an increasing desire to tell people what they're doing wrong in their lives, such as "put the &$%@@ phone down and pay attention" or "by &#^^ pants that fit".... Fortunately I suppose I usually manage to just say these things in my head and mot out loud.
Click to expand...

I often tell other people how to drive, but only my passengers can hear it.
 
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