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Aeronautical Humor

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You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F.Crickmore - test pilot)

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh ****!"

Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication.

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you. (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime. (Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
 
Brings to mind the old skydiving joke - why would anyone pay to jump out of a perfectly good airplane...
 
"The jumpmaster PUSHED ME!!!"
 
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/lol.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
"The jumpmaster PUSHED ME!!!"

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, he used his boot in my butt! But, I was just a Second Lieutenant then.
 
Well, I never jumped from a perfectly good airplane (or any other kind), but I did push a tank out the back of one once /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/devilgrin.gif
 
'Brave shield' exercise?
 
Something similar - Reforger (REturn of FORces to GERmany)

Our unit was picked to participate in the 'Tank Drop' and since I was working in Headquarters at the time I went as an on-board rep. Quite a sight to see the Loadmaster kick the parachute out the tailgate and the tank just flew out - the C-130 felt like it jumped about 100ft in the air and I had to pick myself up off the floor. Went without a hitch - the tank pallet landed fine and slid out with any issues - Afterwards the Loadmaster told me if the tank had gotten stuck in the plane the extraction 'chute would have made us crash! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif I 'think' he was janking my chain ...
 
Ah, REFORGER...been there, done that (many times),`got the tee shirt
 
Me too - until my son took all my camo and military stuff - still wears 'em today. ... OK, I admit I didn't let him take my "Cavalry scouts regroup in H@LL' shirt, but other than that ...
 
Back inna "Disco" days, to be the Contrarian I am, I took a set of my Aircrerw wings and a chain from me dogtags and made it into a "choaker" for around me neck... may resurrect 'em and shtup 'em on the B instrument panel. I liked the look of those Navy ones posted here.
 
I have a very old Pinkerton Security Tie clip on the windsheild center rod of my B. I also wear an AF overcoat at work.
 
Tell me you replaced the buttons, right?!
 
It has plain blue buttons, not the fancy brass ones.
 
Silver. With BIRDS on 'em.
 
eh... only badges I got in my tour of duty was an iron cross (rifle range)... missed out on all the fun stuff so no jump wings, or scuba bubbles for me. But I do have scuba cert.... just not military qual'ed.
 
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