Golf Jokes

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: 'Wow that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.'
The man then replies: 'Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.'


and


Jim gets to the clubhouse half an hour late at the local golf club and his friends ask why he's so late.

"Had to toss a coin to decide between golf and church"
"Well, why so late? That shouldn't take very long."
"Had to toss the coin 67 times."

Good, old joke...however, a true note on the golf & wives: During the time when Jerri was pregnant with our daughter, I was signed up to play in a golf tournament at Fort Ord, California....her doctor had told me that she would probably be a c-section candidate so I shouldn't get real excited about her labor process - that when it started I had plenty of time (don't think he told her because he was afraid of scaring her).....well, the day of the tournament I went out to play...on the second 18, a young soldier came driving out on the course in a golf cart announcing, "Is there a Lieutenant Barnhill here?" When she told me Jerri was going into labor & needed to go to the hospital, I remembered what the doctor had told me & sent a message to Jerri that I'd be home as soon as I could....well, Jerri took that as 'golf is more important' & was in a horrendous mood when I got home....24 hours of labor later, they c-ed! A few years ago when my golf clubs were stolen from my truck in a motel parking lot in Mobile, she took the insurance money & bought herself something she wanted but would never spend the money for - didn't say anything, just did it! Also, needless to say, every time over the years when I went to play golf she made some snide remark! &, I don't play anymore!