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Flupple - Removal, Repair and Replacement

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jjbunn

jjbunn

Jedi Knight
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The more I use the Haynes manual as a guide for my GT, the more I despair - it glosses over so much detail. Here is an imaginary extract, which hopefully illustrates my point.

Flupple - Removal, Repair and Replacement
Removal:

1) Get on your back under the vehicle and locate the sturnal nipple flange
2) Using a 3/4" deep socket wrench, rotate the nipple through 15 degrees, taking care not to dislodge the carpal conundrum.
3) Apply the hot tip of a blowtorch to your forearm, accidentally
4) Bang your head on the passenger floorpan as you flinch in agony from the burn
5) Swear loudly as the oil pan disgorges its contents on your left shoe
6) Force hand down into underpants to remove ants which have crawled up trouser leg
7) Prying the flange with a breaker bar, apply 40 ft lbs of torque to the copulating clinch bolt
8) Take care to remove the cotter pin from the orifice and discard it
9) Extract the flupple from the reciprocating bung and place it in a clean jam jar containing dirty oil

Repair:

1) Examine the flupple for pitting, scratching, scoring, smell, and impertinence. Discard accordingly.
2) If the flupple is in good condition, kiss it
3) Otherwise, dip the flupple in Royal Acid until it smokes. Place an ashtray nearby.
4) Once the flupple is clean, rub it over with Lush Durn-It Body Lotion

Replacement:

1) Replacement is the reverse of removal, except
2) It never fits

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Minor adjustment was needed. Please watch the language, even if the spelling is different. Thanks.
Steve
 
Those manuals are not any better for Nissan Pickup trucks I can tell you that!
 
I have a British version for my AH 3000, your verbiage sounds much better than mine, it must be an American version.
 
How about this direct translation...The radiator is eqiped with a new kind of fixation for air pipe released by car manufacturer - this fixation is realized directly in plastic... this actually referred to installing the shroud to a radiator using self tapping screws into the holes in the plastic end of the radiator for a VW /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eek.gif!
 
Another Haynes manual vent,
How about the part in the Haynes manual where they tell you that the average home repair guru cannot possibly fix the referenced problem so we recommend you bring it to a professional automotive repair technician. Oh! And by the way! We are not even going to tell you anything about it either! Not even a hint! We are also not going to even show you where the referenced item is on the car that's how much we mean it! This is where I want to burn the Haynes manual because these are the exact items I need to repair and bought the manual in the first place to help me with.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/jester.gif
 
Not to mention the fact that this will also tick you off if you are the so-called "professional auto repair technician" the car gets taken to, because you might want to refer to the Haynes manual yourself.
 
I had a library of Factory books for that stuff. Divested the Rolls & Bentley ones when we shut down the shop.
Kept some 'select' ones. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Haynes books are semi-useless, IMO. I've one here as a "shop copy" some PO left in Herself's first B... back in '77. Light Reading.
 
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