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CraigLandrum
Jedi Hopeful
Offline
As we find ourselves in the final bolt-on-the-panels stage of our restoration, I thought I might attempt to list all of the lessons learned in the process. I'm sure my son can add significantly to this list.
So here goes:
* Craig's EZ restoration cost predictor: all restorations cost $20,000. If you bought your car for $5,000, the restoration will cost $15,000. If you bought your car for $500, the restoration will cost $19,500.
* While the Triumph factory workers may have spent the first half of the day carefully planning the assembly of your car and the second half in actually doing it, lunch was spent downing 6 pints at the pub. As a result, any part you obtain either new or used must be modified before it can be bolted onto your car.
* All parts that you attach to your car must be taken off and put back on in the correct way.
* The nut that attaches the end of the vent pull cable to the arm that raises the vent was originally put on by very small elves. As a human, you are incapable of performing this task.
* The vinyl that covered the S shaped cockpit capping behind each door was originally applied by women who wore girdles and had vast experience with the intricate forces and nuances required. You are unlikely to be of the proper gender to perform this operation successfully.
* The importance you attach to getting things exactly right is inversely proportional to the length of time you have spent on your project.
* After you have bolted your flywheel to your crankshaft, installed the engine in your car, and bolted up your transmission, is not the proper time to wonder if the flywheel attachment bolts are too long, thus preventing your engine from turning.
* The starter was originally equipped with four good brushes and springs. Two or three simply isn't enough.
* Choke cables are for appearances only. Therefore, be sure to get a really pretty knob and bezel for it.
* You will spend 10 times longer removing a tachometer from a fully restored and assembled dash than you would have testing it before you put it in the car.
* A frozen tachometer mechanism will cause your new tachometer cable to instantly fail the first time you start your car.
* Putting a rubber washer on the gas tank drain to prevent leaks does exactly the opposite.
* Contact cement can never be completely removed from new carpet.
* The proper time to learn that you have not installed the correct fittings on your brake lines is not when you are in the process of bleeding them.
* Cutting off the end of a brake line, replacing the brass fitting, and reflaring the end of the line are tasks best not performed while lying down on the garage floor and taking an impromptu brake fluid shower.
* Steering columns require an internal stator tube - a part not shown in any catalog or maintenance manual illustration.
* Old brake caliper pistons can be removed by spraying some carb cleaner into the hydraulic input hole, sealing the hole with a bolt, and then heating the caliper with a propane burner. It is best not to point the piston at living things when the explosion occurs and your piston shoots across the room.
* A dremel equipped with a brown abrasive wheel is your friend. It removes paint and anything else front any metal part. You will never have enough brown abrasive wheels or heavy duty cutoff wheels.
* Tools are actually living creatures that grow legs and relocate themselves the second you set them down and look away. You will spend 25 percent of your restoration time simply trying to find tools that have hidden themselves.
* Timing is the easiest adjustment you will perform on your engine. It can be properly set with a test light in two minutes without ever starting the engine.
That's it for now.
So here goes:
* Craig's EZ restoration cost predictor: all restorations cost $20,000. If you bought your car for $5,000, the restoration will cost $15,000. If you bought your car for $500, the restoration will cost $19,500.
* While the Triumph factory workers may have spent the first half of the day carefully planning the assembly of your car and the second half in actually doing it, lunch was spent downing 6 pints at the pub. As a result, any part you obtain either new or used must be modified before it can be bolted onto your car.
* All parts that you attach to your car must be taken off and put back on in the correct way.
* The nut that attaches the end of the vent pull cable to the arm that raises the vent was originally put on by very small elves. As a human, you are incapable of performing this task.
* The vinyl that covered the S shaped cockpit capping behind each door was originally applied by women who wore girdles and had vast experience with the intricate forces and nuances required. You are unlikely to be of the proper gender to perform this operation successfully.
* The importance you attach to getting things exactly right is inversely proportional to the length of time you have spent on your project.
* After you have bolted your flywheel to your crankshaft, installed the engine in your car, and bolted up your transmission, is not the proper time to wonder if the flywheel attachment bolts are too long, thus preventing your engine from turning.
* The starter was originally equipped with four good brushes and springs. Two or three simply isn't enough.
* Choke cables are for appearances only. Therefore, be sure to get a really pretty knob and bezel for it.
* You will spend 10 times longer removing a tachometer from a fully restored and assembled dash than you would have testing it before you put it in the car.
* A frozen tachometer mechanism will cause your new tachometer cable to instantly fail the first time you start your car.
* Putting a rubber washer on the gas tank drain to prevent leaks does exactly the opposite.
* Contact cement can never be completely removed from new carpet.
* The proper time to learn that you have not installed the correct fittings on your brake lines is not when you are in the process of bleeding them.
* Cutting off the end of a brake line, replacing the brass fitting, and reflaring the end of the line are tasks best not performed while lying down on the garage floor and taking an impromptu brake fluid shower.
* Steering columns require an internal stator tube - a part not shown in any catalog or maintenance manual illustration.
* Old brake caliper pistons can be removed by spraying some carb cleaner into the hydraulic input hole, sealing the hole with a bolt, and then heating the caliper with a propane burner. It is best not to point the piston at living things when the explosion occurs and your piston shoots across the room.
* A dremel equipped with a brown abrasive wheel is your friend. It removes paint and anything else front any metal part. You will never have enough brown abrasive wheels or heavy duty cutoff wheels.
* Tools are actually living creatures that grow legs and relocate themselves the second you set them down and look away. You will spend 25 percent of your restoration time simply trying to find tools that have hidden themselves.
* Timing is the easiest adjustment you will perform on your engine. It can be properly set with a test light in two minutes without ever starting the engine.
That's it for now.
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