• The Roadster Factory Recovery Fund - Friends, as you may have heard, The Roadster Factory, a respected British Car Parts business in PA, suffered a total loss in a fire on Christmas Day. Read about it, discuss or ask questions >> HERE. The Triumph Register of America is sponsoring a fund raiser to help TRF get back on their feet. If you can help, vist >> their GoFundMe page.
  • Hey there Guest!
    If you enjoy BCF and find our forum a useful resource, if you appreciate not having ads pop up all over the place and you want to ensure we can stay online - Please consider supporting with an "optional" low-cost annual subscription.
    **Upgrade Now**
    (PS: Subscribers don't see this UGLY banner)
Tips
Tips

You might be a Little British Car owner.........

Steve

Moderator
Staff member
Platinum
Country flag
Offline
Listening toJeff Foxworthy last night gave me this idea......

If you have a two-car garage and your daily drivers live outside all the time...you might be a Little British Car owner.

If you can remove, strip, clean, reassemble and re-install a twin SU carb setup....inside of twenty minutes....blindfolded....you may be a Little British Car owner.

If you take enough spares with you to replace every electrical component on the car, plus give it a major service and fill the gas tank, each time you go for a drive....you may be a Little British Car owner.

If you think that "Lucas" is English for "darkness", you might be a Little British Car owner.

If none of your cars needs anything fixing, adjusting or messing with, you cannot possibly be a Little British Car owner.
 

Basil

Administrator
Staff member
Boss
Offline
This is good - lets see how many we can come up with!

If you carry Wrigley's chewing gum in your glove box for emergency repairs, you may be a Little British car owner!

If you are relieved to find only a "small" pool of oil under your car, you may be a Little British car owner!

If you come into some extra cash, and send it to Moss motors instead of buying a much-needed pair of pants without holes, you might be a little British car owner!

If stopping every hour or so to check the oil seems perfectly normal to you, you might be a little Britsh car owner!

Basil
crazy.gif
crazy.gif
 

lawguy

Jedi Knight
Offline
If you've ever used a hygrometer to diagnose a starting problem...

If the name "Zenith" does not remind you, first and foremost, of your grandparent's TV...

If your child's Tinkertoys remind you of the last time you got caught driving by a sudden downpour...

If to you, "low maintenance" means a chassis lube interval over 500 miles...

If it takes your car 2 minutes and 40 seconds to go 0 to 60,...and the first 2 minutes and 30 seconds are spent fiddling with the choke to get the thing started...
 

XJRpilot

Jedi Hopeful
Offline
if a customer service rep at moss motors knows your voice and name by heart.......
 

lawguy

Jedi Knight
Offline
If you know that Laycock De Normanville is not a stripper's name...

If the name "Sunbeam" does not remind you of toasters or blenders...
 

XJRpilot

Jedi Hopeful
Offline
if at a british car meet you open your bonnet,
not to show off the engine, but to let the engine cool off because it was running hot.

in the walmart parking lot, you open your bonnet to tap the starter relay to start the car because it wont start.

the guys at autozone think your a nut.
 

TerrierCarrier

Senior Member
Offline
You may be a LBC addict if:

You can diagnose a problem entirely by the smell or color of the smoke emanating from your vehicle.

Driving after dark requires special electrical system checks

It seems reasonable that you should add oil to your carburetors

Your trunk normally contains the following items:
- a spool of wire, electrical tape, and sidecuts
- more than one quart of oil (of more than one viscosity)
- a spare set of spark plugs, a spare spark plug wire, and a spare rotor

[ 09-13-2002: Message edited by: TerrierCarrier ]</p>
 

William

Darth Vader
Offline
You decide to drive your LBC to a nice restaurant and proceed to give off visible carbon monoxide fumes from your clothes, due to the muffler seal breaking down, you might just be.

An Oxford isn't a type of shoe.

You don't need no stinking windshield wipers.

A Capri isn't a type of pants.

You don't need no stinking turn signals.

You send your Snap-On rep a Christmas card.

You don't need no stinking heater.

You don't think that Jaguar's F1 team is really British, but Stewart Racing was.

You don't need no stinking roll-up windows.

You think the Sprite and Midget need to lose some weight.

-William (I don't need no stinking demister!)
 

Scott Brunkhurst

Jedi Hopeful
Offline
Basil,

When I was in the army and diving a ford (jeep) I had the occasion of my jeep dying in the field. The "mechanic" said "stuck float" and proceded to bang on the float bowl till it cracked and started leaking. Out came the chewing gum and I made all the way back to the motor pool.
If your Austin Healey has a sticker saying "MY OTHER CAR IS AN MG"

SB
 

TypeRboy

Jedi Warrior
Offline
My bumper sticker..

$REWARD$.. for the return of any parts found on the roadside off this car.
 

Tiger

Jedi Warrior
Offline
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by TypeRboy:
My bumper sticker..

$REWARD$.. for the return of any parts found on the roadside off this car.
<hr></blockquote>

Parts falling off the car? Uh, no, that's just chaff ejected to confuse radar...
tongue.gif
 

Ractr6

Member
Country flag
Offline
You consider rust a performance enhancer because it is lighter than virgin metal....

A fire extinguisher is considered standard equipment.....

if seeing the road through your floor pan is an alternate means of checking road conditions....

If you plan your next trip based on garage locations instead of scenic destinations.
cheers.gif
 
G

Guest

Guest
Guest
Offline
if you know it will take 10 minutes to remove the first three nuts and 2 days to remove the fourth

if you wonder why people shift in to first gear at other than a dead stop

if you post on this forum


you might own a lbc
 

Ractr6

Member
Country flag
Offline
If you never ask your wife for permission to buy LBC parts.....you only beg for forgiveness at a later date....Cost usually doubles after flowers and a dinner on the town....

jester.gif
 

78Z

Darth Vader
Country flag
Offline
I noticed this dropped out of the 30 day list. I have "borrowed" (stolen) this for my site and added some more so we can perserve this. All credit to BCF member though. If anyone has an issue with me using this stuff let me know. Otherwise here's the link https://members.shaw.ca/spitfire1500/humour.html

and a couple more additions.

You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
You have an immaculate car which you drive one day a week, and the
vehicle that gets you around the other six days is rusted, covered with
duct tape, and has a pair of Vise Grips(r) holding the clutch cable together.
You have enough spare parts to build another car.
You can't remember when you last worked on weekdays and rested on weekends
You have a "home" toolbox and an "away" toolbox
Your "daily driver" is continuously being mistaken for an abandoned car
as you haven't taken the time to wash it in over a year
You have more than one roll of duct tape around the house (the handyman's secret weapon).
The UPS truck stops at your house more than any other house on the block
You do more catalog shopping than your wife
You used to have money
You try to justify your hobby as continuing education
Your EMAIL address refers to your car rather than to you
The car gets waxed more often than your floor
Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you
Your Christmas list begins with a Webber carbs and Stainless Steel Headers (and your "significant other" knows what these are).


cheers.gif


[ 12-17-2002: Message edited by: 78Z ]</p>
 
OP
Steve

Steve

Moderator
Staff member
Platinum
Country flag
Offline
Some nice additions there. Actually, as the originator of the thread I am rather flattered that you chose to use the idea, you have done a nice job with it. The more publicity for the BCF the better.
blush.gif
 

lawguy

Jedi Knight
Offline
If you have acquired the neat party trick ability to play "God Save the Queen" on your over-tightened wheel spokes...

If you can't understand why the Spanish would sell so much gasket-suitable cork to wine makers...

If you've seen a vision of the Blessed Virgin in an oil stain on your driveway.

If you can proudly exclaim that a Hyundai Excel is not the least reliable car they've ever owned...

If you've never met "Lucas", but you're willing to bet good money that he was dyslexic...
 
Top