they walk among us

They walk among us

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of
his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it
saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days
the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.
He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It
looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for
sale $50." The next day someone stole it.

Caution... They Walk Among Us!

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when
someone shouted...."Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the
sky and said..."where???"

They Walk among us!!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate
agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want
the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in
the north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east,
and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up
with that stuff."

They Walk Among Us!!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.
One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call
center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" .

They Walk Among Us!!!

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our
cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking
about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore She drove
down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because
the car was moving".

They Walk Among Us!!!!

I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the
half pound sirloin. She informed me they only had an 8 ounce sirloin.
Not wanting to make a scene, I told her I would take the 8 ounce steak
instead of the half-pounder.

They walk among us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to
cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the
trunk...

They Walk Among Us!!!!!

My friends and I were on a Pepsi run and noticed that the
cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.
The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....

They Walk Among Us!!!!!!

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a
nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't
the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain
that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter
which way the head is turned.

They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I
went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags
never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a
trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me," Has
your plane arrived yet?"...

They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a
small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he
would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces.

Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!


Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also
reproduce!!!!

Dang! Reminds me of some of the bosses I`v had in the past.

Ever worked for an over educated idiot? I have! Some upper management employees fit the "They walk among us" catergory well.

All good ones!

I met a guy who said I should buy up a bunch of stamps before the price of postage went up.

Another sent me a letter. In it he told me to let him know if I didn't get the letter.

Those are good ones!

I went to the local discount auto parts store a few years ago asking for plugs, points, and condenser for my MGB.

"MGB," the guy says, "Who makes that?"

"MG," I replied.

He pauses a few seconds then askes, "How do you spell it?"

I walked out and went to another parts store.

JPF

In 2001 I went to a Bosch store to buy new fuel injector seals for my V12. The mouth breathing ex-burger flipper behind the counter asked me how many I needed and I asked for 12.

He said, "Sorry, can't help you. We only have them in packages of 4, 6 or 8."

Obviously, the math was too complicated for him. I was not about to teach him simple addition, so I went to another parts store.

Don Neff

I had a new phone system put in the other day. My wife came home from work and asked my why I wasn't answering the phone. I said because it didn't ring. Using her cell phone, we discovered that the phone only worked for outgoing calls and not for incoming calls. I called the company up that did the installation, told of the problem. "OK, we'll send a repairman out tommorrow between 2 and 5 PM. He'll call you about fifteen minutes before he arrives to make sure you're home" /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazy.gif

When I had cable run to my house, the installer left way too much slack and the cable drooped to within 3 feet of the ground. He said that he would return with help to remove the slack. He never returned, so I called the cable company and got The New Girl. I explained that the cable was drooping to within three feet of my yard and she asked, "Is this an above ground cable or a buried cable?"

I was once sent to a school on Nuclear Density machines. These machines use radiation to measure compaction in roadway construction. One of the main parts of the class is radiation safety. At this particular school we actually had one of the participants raise his hand and ask what color radiation was.

I used to teach people to become aircraft mechanics. A student once asked me if there had ever been an airplane crash that nobody ever heard of. I answered that I had never heard of one, so there must have been one.

Anyone who says that there are no dumb questions has never taught.

weewillie said:

My friends and I were on a Pepsi run and noticed that the
cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases.
The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....

Click to expand...

Go back and buy 10 cases to see if he gives them to you for free. /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

I'll never forget the time I pulled up to the drive through speaker at a Burger King, ordered my meal, and just about stalled the car when the voice asked "Is that for here, or to go?"

Twosheds said:

Anyone who says that there are no dumb questions has never taught.

Click to expand...

I teach 13 year olds.....Amen to that /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

God bless middle school teachers!!! A special breed!! /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

Yes, we are the ones that people look at with that sympathetic shake of their heads and ask us, "why?" or better yet (and I have been asked) "Couldn't you find a High School Position?"
Of course...I also bought a Little British Car and you guys seem to be sort of part of the same mold.... /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazy.gif

You must have great patience.

I am told that I have patience, yet it took all I had to be patient with college kids. I can't imagine what it's like to teach middle-school kids.

Of course, middle-school kids are expected to act like middle-school kids, whereas I never expected college kids to act like middle-school kids!

A couple went to the dealer to pick up their car after servicing. They were told the mechanic accidently locked the keys in the car. Sure enough, they found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers door. The man tried the passenger door and found it was open. Told the mechanic and he replied, "I know, I already got that side open."

A Wife (who will remain nameless),upon
looking at the airline tickets for 2,for a
round-trip to Hawaii,commented -
-"Did you realise that this is a non-stop flight?"
To which her very intelligent Husband replied-
- "I certainly hope so".

- Doug

went into the local deli this morning fixed my coffee and turned to the guy behind the counter "can i get a buttered roll" i asked politely, "what do ya want on it" he asked. /bcforum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/crazyeyes.gif

"Anyone who says that there are no dumb questions has never taught"

I once had a math prof, who said there are no dumb questions just dumb people who ask questions. I once tried to get a 12v external resistor coil from our local Autozone. The guy asks me what it is for, so I tell him its for a 52 International. He looks at me and says who made that? I say International, and he says no I need to know who made that, was it Ford? I say no its an International. He says yeah ok, and then looks it up and says is it a Scout? I say no its a pick-up. He says it shows here that they only made scouts. I say no its a pick-up. He tells me that they can't help me because their computer says they only made Scouts and that the entry doesn't go back to 52. I say thank you and went to my usual parts store on Monday and had my coil in hand in less time then it took to convince the guy from Autozone that International was not made by Ford.

They walk among us.

:lol: