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Borrowed from the Nashville British Car Club mail list
An MG ON CHRISTMAS EVE
`Twas the night before Christmas and outside some dive,
An Britcar sat waiting for its driver to drive.
But the starter was quiet; the 12 volts gone flat.
The lights had been left on. The driver just sat.
No doubt the pub crawl had been a bad thought.
He'd got here already with more than he'd ought.
With diminished capacity he'd gone into the bar,
And left the lights burning - now he couldn't go far..
But then he remembered old BMC's "plan B."
The car will start with a crank, don't you see?
So, with hardly a pause he fell out of the door,
And he found that old crank in the back, on the floor.
Now, how was this done? He had never done this.
And besides, all that beer made him want to (well, you know)
So he watered a wheel as he pondered his plight,
Then out of the sky came a frightening sight.
He wasn't so sure if it wasn't the beer:
He beheld a huge sled pulled by tiny reindeer!
It landed real smooth and pulled up by his car,
And a fat guy in red laughed, "Off to home from the bar?"
"This package delivery is boring you know,"
He boomed as he hitched up a rope for a tow.
An elf sprang from somewhere - tied the rope to the car.
"Now hold it!" the man screamed, "You're going too far!"
But before he could hinder the well-meaning pair,
The elf was inside; the car in first gear.
"Switched on, clutch in," the elf hollered to Nick.
"Alright!" bellowed Santa, "Let's get on with this trick!"
The sled it leapt forward; the rope it twanged tight.
The reindeer were strong, and the car it was light.
The elf let the clutch out and pulled on the choke.
The gear box began whining and so did our bloke.
For under the car there arose such a clatter,
He knew without looking just what was the matter.
For old Saint Nick had broken the First Rule:
Never roll start a Britcar, not by push or by pull.
With the gearbox in pieces, the elf cried, "Hey, quit!"
Santa complied and the car rolled to sit,
At the end of a trail of bright pinions and gears.
The owner started sobbing some terrible tears.
"I think we'd best be off now," said Santa, "Ho! Ho!"
The elf grabbed the rope and away they did go.
Our lad stood there stunned but soon thinking
how his sad misadventure had started with drinking.
So we've got us two morals to learn if you please,
The first is the gearbox - it's softer than cheese.
The second is much better for staying alive:
This Christmas, don't ever drink and drive!
Courtesy,
DUDWL!
An MG ON CHRISTMAS EVE
`Twas the night before Christmas and outside some dive,
An Britcar sat waiting for its driver to drive.
But the starter was quiet; the 12 volts gone flat.
The lights had been left on. The driver just sat.
No doubt the pub crawl had been a bad thought.
He'd got here already with more than he'd ought.
With diminished capacity he'd gone into the bar,
And left the lights burning - now he couldn't go far..
But then he remembered old BMC's "plan B."
The car will start with a crank, don't you see?
So, with hardly a pause he fell out of the door,
And he found that old crank in the back, on the floor.
Now, how was this done? He had never done this.
And besides, all that beer made him want to (well, you know)
So he watered a wheel as he pondered his plight,
Then out of the sky came a frightening sight.
He wasn't so sure if it wasn't the beer:
He beheld a huge sled pulled by tiny reindeer!
It landed real smooth and pulled up by his car,
And a fat guy in red laughed, "Off to home from the bar?"
"This package delivery is boring you know,"
He boomed as he hitched up a rope for a tow.
An elf sprang from somewhere - tied the rope to the car.
"Now hold it!" the man screamed, "You're going too far!"
But before he could hinder the well-meaning pair,
The elf was inside; the car in first gear.
"Switched on, clutch in," the elf hollered to Nick.
"Alright!" bellowed Santa, "Let's get on with this trick!"
The sled it leapt forward; the rope it twanged tight.
The reindeer were strong, and the car it was light.
The elf let the clutch out and pulled on the choke.
The gear box began whining and so did our bloke.
For under the car there arose such a clatter,
He knew without looking just what was the matter.
For old Saint Nick had broken the First Rule:
Never roll start a Britcar, not by push or by pull.
With the gearbox in pieces, the elf cried, "Hey, quit!"
Santa complied and the car rolled to sit,
At the end of a trail of bright pinions and gears.
The owner started sobbing some terrible tears.
"I think we'd best be off now," said Santa, "Ho! Ho!"
The elf grabbed the rope and away they did go.
Our lad stood there stunned but soon thinking
how his sad misadventure had started with drinking.
So we've got us two morals to learn if you please,
The first is the gearbox - it's softer than cheese.
The second is much better for staying alive:
This Christmas, don't ever drink and drive!
Courtesy,
DUDWL!
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