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A few groaners...

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Popeye

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[FONT=&quot]I stayed up on New Year’s Eve. Not to see the New Year in, but to make sure the old one left.

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]"Any fool can know. The point is to understand." - Albert Einstein

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Due to my isolation, I finished three books during the holidays, and believe me, that's a lot of coloring.

and...

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]My wife still hasn't told me what my New Year's resolutions are.


(All courtesy of a weekly Scuttlebutt newsletter on sailing news. Seems sailors share a similar sense of humor with British car owners. Or not. [/FONT]:cool:[FONT=&quot])[/FONT]
 
DrEntropy

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Good stuff, Mike. The Einstein quote reminds me of several folks I've met.

And a Buffett line: "Don't try to describe the ocean if you've never seen it..." :thumbsup:
 
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Popeye

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A few more, curtesy of scuttlebutt: (I've omitted the political ones.)

I told my wife how thankful I was to have someone I enjoyed being quarantined with. She said, "Must be nice."

They say we should have predicted the pandemic this year, but hindsight is 2020.

And my favorite:

I recently tried donating blood but never again. Too many stupid questions. Whose blood is it? Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket?
 
Madflyer

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In the days when I gave blood before AIDS in SF the Tec told me he had a donor ask when he was told his blood type; Is that good he asked. His reply was It is keep you alive. Madflyer
 
LarryK

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Groan!
 
Madflyer

Madflyer

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I is at the airport desk in Germany and I asked the person behind the counter how many language's she knew, 7 she said WOW I said I is working on one. Madflyer Well not really true I know three but I can not repeat them.
 
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Popeye

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[FONT=&quot]The only time politicians tell the truth is when they call each other a liar.

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]My spouse thinks I'm crazy but I'm not the one who married me.

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]If a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Every year in the middle of February, something wonderful and heartwarming happens. Tons of candy goes on clearance. (Happy Valentine's Day!)[/FONT]
 
Boink

Boink

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Next up:

pun.jpg
 
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Popeye

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Some good ones this week:

"My mind is like my internet browser. Nineteen tabs open, 3 of them are frozen, and I have no idea where the music is coming from."

“We learn from history that we do not learn from history.” - Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, German philosopher

"I try to watch what I eat but my eyes just aren’t quick enough."

Happy Friday everyone!
 
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Popeye

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It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub and a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering.

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink. Turns out it was the refrigerator.
 
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