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Thread: Paraprosdokians

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    Jedi Warrior
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    Paraprosdokians

    Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence
    or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston
    Churchill loved them.)

    1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

    2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.... but it's still on my list.

    3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you
    hear them speak.

    4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

    5. We never really grow up.... we only learn how to act in public.

    6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

    7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a
    fruit salad.

    8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
    research.

    9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

    10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency,
    notify...." I answered, "a doctor."

    11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with
    a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

    12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to
    skydive twice.

    13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

    14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit
    the target.

    15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a
    garage makes you a car.

    16. You're never too old to do something stupid.

    One last Churchillian. At a dinner party, after the meal Churchill loudly passed gas. The man next to him said "you farted in front of my wife." Churchill replied. "Sorry, I didn'y know it was her turn."
    Maynard
    94 Jaguar XJS 6.0 V12
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    86 Jaguar XJ6
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  2. The Following User Says Thank You to maynard For This Useful Post:

    NutmegCT  (06-20-2020)

  3. #2
    Great Pumpkin NutmegCT's Avatar
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    Re: Paraprosdokians

    Mac & Phyllis Take a Trip: http://nutmegflyer.com/trip-details-daily-updates/
    History: 1976 MGB, 1959 Triumph TR3A, 1960 Mercedes-Benz 190b, 1958 Rambler American.
    Current: 1953 MG TD27318.

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    Great Pumpkin DrEntropy's Avatar
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    Re: Paraprosdokians



    Not a Paraprosdokian but one of my favorite Winnie quotes: "If I were your husband Madam, I'd drink it!"
    Last edited by DrEntropy; 06-21-2020 at 06:07 AM. Reason: add Chirchill quote
    '64 MGB, '67 Lotus Elan S-3 DHC,'69 Lotus Elan +2
    '78 Alfa Romeo Spider-undergoing surgery: O=\*/=O
    '84 300D Turbo-"Diesela"-Now my Daily: Oo|≣|oO
    '02 Toyota Camry- SWMBO's 'new-to-her' Daily. <sigh>
    Chaos & Mayhem PTY, LTD..C.I.O. & Floor Sweepervisor

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    Darth Vader Bayless's Avatar
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    Re: Paraprosdokians

    He was certainly colorful. Or should that be that colourful?
    Was Man nicht im Kopf hat muss Man in den Beinen haben
    '48 Ford Prefect
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    http://enfoprefect.org

  6. #5
    Great Pumpkin NutmegCT's Avatar
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    Re: Paraprosdokians

    Colourful?

    "This is the type of errant pedantry up with which I will not put."

    W.S.C.
    Mac & Phyllis Take a Trip: http://nutmegflyer.com/trip-details-daily-updates/
    History: 1976 MGB, 1959 Triumph TR3A, 1960 Mercedes-Benz 190b, 1958 Rambler American.
    Current: 1953 MG TD27318.

  7. #6
    Jedi Knight
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    Re: Paraprosdokians

    How about, I'd like to introduce you to my second wife, unfortunately I still have my first.

  8. #7
    Yoda Gliderman8's Avatar
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    Re: Paraprosdokians

    I got an expensive bottle of wine for my wife; I think I made a pretty good trade.
    Elliot
    Central PA
    1973 TR6 Damson Plum / Biscuit interior, HVDA 5-speed, Good Parts Hubs
    1976 TR6 White/Biscuit interior SOLD
    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

  9. #8
    Darth Vader
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    Re: Paraprosdokians

    If the shoe fits, buy the other one.

  10. #9
    Luke Skywalker
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    Re: Paraprosdokians

    Number 8 To steal from many is called consulting!

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