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Remember Will Rogers

maynard

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November 4, 1879 โ€“ August 15, 1935

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.


ABOUT GROWING OLDER

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
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Basil

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"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back."

And the corollary: "Gettin' the cat outta the carrier at the Vet's is a lot easier than putting it back in." (A lesson I recently learned).
 

Bayless

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Also, I stand corrected. I credited that "peeing on the electric fence" insight in another thread to Mark Twain. I should have known better, being a fellow Okie with Will Rogers. He was truly one smart man.
 

Basil

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Also, I stand corrected. I credited that "peeing on the electric fence" insight in another thread to Mark Twain. I should have known better, being a fellow Okie with Will Rogers. He was truly one smart man.

He was quite perspicacious.
 

pdplot

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Must have been Yogi Berra.

1. When you come to a fork in the road - take it.
2. That restaurant is so popular nobody goes there any more.
3. In October, it gets late early.
 
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Knew a guy who did the pee on the electric fence bit, cut him some slack since he was a city boy and didn't nkow what it was. But had a good laugh though when he said he thought he was having a heart attack from peeing...
 

Mickey Richaud

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PAUL161

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I guess he will use a little more caution the next time! :highly_amused:
 
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