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Thread: Did I Do The Right Thing?

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  1. #1
    Yoda AngliaGT's Avatar
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    Did I Do The Right Thing?

    After belonging to the local British car club for over two years,
    I sent an email to one of the officers stating why I won't be renewing
    my membership.
    Due to working weekends,I'm unable to attend most events,
    but when I do,I still feel like an outsider,as most of the members
    seem like they'd rather visit with each other,rather than making an
    outsider feel welcome.This includes the club president.
    I've stopped by the local Cars & Coffee event,on my way to work
    several times,but never once got mentioned in the newsletter,although
    the club president makes sure to mention that he attended.
    I've also invited many members to stop by our house,but not even
    one has done so.
    I've attended club meetings,which are dinner meetings.I have to
    either leave work early,or rush to it after work,so I usually get there as
    the meeting is almost over,& everyone seems to be in a hurry to head out,
    rather than visiting.
    There are a few members who've treated me well,but too many seem
    to act like their in a clique.
    The worst part is that I'm paying to do this.
    Just Remember.......
    NOBODY ever says "COOL PRIUS!"

  2. #2
    Darth Vader
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    Sounds like they may be a bit Cliquish. Are other activities involved with the group that you don't take part in?

    David
    TR3A TS75524L

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    Yoda AngliaGT's Avatar
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    I would attend activities when I could.
    Just Remember.......
    NOBODY ever says "COOL PRIUS!"

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    Darth Vader
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    It is tough if they are mainly a group of retired members and they arrange things during normal working hours. Any working members get excluded from activities. If that is the case it is probable not the best approach to recruiting new membership.

    David
    TR3A TS75524L

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    Great Pumpkin TR3driver's Avatar
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    Do you have to be a member to attend meetings and events? In our local club, all membership buys you is the club newsletter each month, and an invite to the Xmas party for you and a guest. (Membership dues help support the party, usually the main dish will be catered.) Meetings and events are usually open to everyone who is interested.

    Breaking into a new group can be tough, especially if they've all known each other for a long time. I'm as guilty as the next guy, it's a lot easier for me to say "Hey, how ya doing" to someone I know than to welcome the new guy. I quit going to the local club meetings for a long time after the first one, as a couple of people I didn't know at all were out in the parking lot criticizing my car because the trunk handle was on upside down. (A DPOism that I hadn't bothered to correct.) Later on, when I got elected president, I'm afraid I didn't do a very good job; probably didn't work as hard on welcoming new members as I should have. Fortunately (for me), our newsletter editor at the time was really good at that stuff, he always had a page listing new members and those who had renewed their membership.

    But really, they're "just folks". Introduce yourself, hang around awhile; maybe bring your car for others to see. Most likely they'll warm up eventually.
    Randall
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    71-72-73 Stag LE2013LBW waiting OD gearbox rebuild

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    Yoda AngliaGT's Avatar
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    Naw,I'm done (for now).We had a loose knit group in CA,
    & there never seemed to be these problems - everyone seemed
    to get along well,& were very welcoming to new people.
    I did get an email back from the club official,saying that
    "I'm sorry we didn't meet your expectations".
    Just Remember.......
    NOBODY ever says "COOL PRIUS!"

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    Moderator Mickey Richaud's Avatar
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    You absolutely did the right thing, Doug. Club members and officers need to know how they come across to new folks. Some newbies are naturals at mixing and mingling; others not so much. The onus is on the current members, especially long-timers, to make folks welcome.

    Mickey
    "There are three kinds of men. One who learns by readin'. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on that electric fence for themselves." Will Rogers
    Mickey Richaud '73 MGB, '69 MGB GT/V6, Victor TF, '03 Jaguar XK8
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    Yoda PAUL161's Avatar
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    Doug, I'm basically in the same situation, I belong to a club 60 miles away, Green Country MG Register, and can;t attend any of their local events, they usually have a dinner at various restaurants in Tulsa once a month, but for me to drive 120 miles round trip is silly for a hamburger, plus we have a sick puppy that needs special attention and only I can administer her medication two times a day, makes it tough to get away and they know this! At a show that I can make, only one fella from the club comes up to me and says hello. Been a member of the club for 5 years now and at the last car show the president of the club introduced himself to me for the first time. My car usually wins a first place and I think there's an issue with that. Don't let your feelings get hurt, ignore their ignorance and move on. Last show, two TDs in the club parked on each side of me, they and their wives looked at me, got out of their cars, walked off and never said Hi, hello or whatever. At my age, I could care less, funny how I enjoy talking to so many people at the events, but only one club member. This club probably won't get any dues next year from me either. PJ

    Remember, Never Forget
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    Obi Wan
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    I've been a member of several clubs and have always felt welcome. I got to know Joe Curto back in my TD days and my current club- with a bunch of really fancy cars - meets once a month for dinner at a local private golf club (the local muni restaurant where previous dinners were held having closed several years ago) and except for one extreme right-wing snobbish couple from Greenwich, everyone there is very friendly. I met Briggs Cunningham's widow who was lovely and several Ferrari owners who turned out to be a lot of fun. I am surprised to hear that Southerners and Oklahomans could be unfriendly. What ever happened to Southern Hospitality? My part of the country is supposed to be notoriously close-mouthed and unfriendly but that's not the case at all. My brother attended UVA and has lived in Charlottesville for many years. Although a Yankee, he's been a part of that community right along as a radio announcer, real estate broker and local commentator.

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    Yoda John Turney's Avatar
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    Yes, Doug, you did the right thing. I'm the Membership guy for our Club and we really need to know why people leave. Hopefully, we can do something about it.
    John, BN4

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    Yoda HealeyRick's Avatar
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    It's definitely a problem, especially as the members of our clubs get older. I've known some of the folks in my club for over 40 years. You share a lot of history with each other and as was said above, it's hard not to spend time with your old friends, often to the detriment of new members. I know we try to be inclusive, but it's a hard rut to get out of. I'll give you a tip if you want to be accepted quickly. Volunteer for something in the club. Getting people to fill officer's positions, come up with new ideas, plan a meet, etc, etc, is increasingly difficult as many long-time members have burnt out on this stuff. You'll get to meet more people and they will appreciate your help. Doesn't sound like the club president handled this too well, his reply sounded kind of curt so maybe they are happy with the way things are.
    Rick

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    Yoda glemon's Avatar
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    That is too bad, as one of the younger guys (if you are still working you are a younger guy) in our club I understand the scheduling issues, when our club does little road trips they tend to drag them out at a slow pace, I just don't have time to do that. Too bad about the social stuff, I would like to think our club does better, but I am a long time member, so it always looks different from the inside loooking out. If you have a group of guys you like to hang out with that is really all you need.
    Last edited by glemon; 09-30-2019 at 02:21 PM.

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    Yoda AngliaGT's Avatar
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    Actually,I'm not that young.Just had to start
    all over,due to circumstances in life.
    In our loose-knit group (Humboldt British Car Group),
    while doing car runs,I used to slow down,to wait for the
    stragglers.After a while,I decided that we'd just stop & regroup
    every once in a while.Seemed to work well.
    There's a street rod/muscle car guy here,who I've gotten
    to know.I saw him at a local car show,& said "Finally - someone I know".
    He shook my hand,& invited me to walk around with him.
    Just Remember.......
    NOBODY ever says "COOL PRIUS!"

  14. #14
    Moderator Mickey Richaud's Avatar
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    Quote Originally Posted by AngliaGT View Post
    Actually,I'm not that young.
    Good thing you 'fessed up, Doug. If you hadn't, I was gonna out ya!

    Glad you found a car buddy. As for the club, shake the dust off your feet and move on!

    Mickey
    "There are three kinds of men. One who learns by readin'. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on that electric fence for themselves." Will Rogers
    Mickey Richaud '73 MGB, '69 MGB GT/V6, Victor TF, '03 Jaguar XK8
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    Yoda waltesefalcon's Avatar
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    This is my car club. I have looked at a couple of actual clubs over the years and I'm just not social enough. I'd rather sit under a tree and turn wrenches than turn up to an event. I'm also a bit gruff in person and have a bad tendency to scare people off.
    Cheers,
    Walter
    52 International L110
    61 International C112
    68 Cadillac Coupe DeVille

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    Jedi Knight
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    Remember what Groucho said, approximately... "I just don’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.”

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  18. #17
    Luke Skywalker
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    There are bad apples in every club. Was once a member to the Jaguar club, but left for similar reasons after two years.
    I am a member of two national clubs and they are very friendly groups.
    Time to buy a TVR, Doug!
    Cheers,
    D.
    "If it's got t*ts or tyres, you've got problems"
    www.englishmotorsatfairbrook.org
    TVR Car Club North America Southwest Regional Organiser

  19. #18
    Luke Skywalker LarryK's Avatar
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    Re: Did I Do The Right Thing?

    I was a member of the local Jag Club, but worked weekends and understood I was a check member. I worked on Jags, lots of members used the shop I worked for, drove my Jags and could outrun most members Jags. We had a meeting at the dealer for the new models, orchestra and all. Felt snubbed, never went back. Belong to another Club and the young ones really make the older ones feel out. Yes, you did the right thing. I am retired, have the time to go, but can't handle the atmosphere, where they only rely on the dealer and want too much free stuff.
    Larry K
    58 Jag 3.4 MK 1 auto under restoration, 57 Jag 3.4 MK1 manual ,
    03 Cooper S, 2011 Cooper S Countryman, 2011 Land Rover LR4 HSE LUX, 1964 Valiant V200
    Also had , 68 Cortina 1600E, 64 Spit 4 & 80 1500, 73 GT6 3, 71 XJ6, 79 XJ6, 86 XJS V-12, 53 XK120 OTS.

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