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Thread: One day at the Monestary

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    Administrator Basil's Avatar
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    One day at the Monestary

    I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips.
    I asked him Are you the friar?
    He replied No, Im the chip monk...
    The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention. - Oscar Wilde

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    Yoda waltesefalcon's Avatar
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    Re: One day at the Monestary

    In Vegas you can tithe by leaving chips in the offering box.
    Once a week a monk will take all the ships to the various casinos and cash them in.
    This monk's title is the "chip monk."
    Cheers,
    Walter
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    Great Pumpkin JPSmit's Avatar
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    Re: One day at the Monestary

    My two favourite monk jokes:

    1. There was this order of Monks that were not allowed to speak but they could chant at prayer times. Each morning they gathered for prayers and the Abbot intoned 'Good morning Monks' and they all chanted in reply 'Good morning'. Unfortunately, Brother Bernard was a bit of a rebel and got a bit fed up with this so the next morning, when it was time to reply to the Abbot, he, instead, intoned 'Good Evening' (He was, indeed, a rebel). The Abbot heard this, looked round and chanted 'Someone chanted evening'.

    2.
    Another monastry was also the home to a silent order. However, every 5 years they were allowed to discuss their progress with the Abbot. After Brother John had been with the order for 5 years he went to see the abbot who asked him how he was settling in. 'Fine' said Brother John but my bed is very hard. Can I have a softer one?' Reluctantly, the Abbot agrees. After another 5 Years Brother John once again sees the Abbot and asks if he can have a rug on the cold stone floor of his cell. Again, reluctantly, the Abbot agrees. After 15 years he goes to see the Abbot and says that he does not think he is cut out for this life. 'Thank goodness for that' says the Abbot - 'you have done nothing but complain since you got here'.


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    Moderator Mickey Richaud's Avatar
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    Re: One day at the Monestary

    OK - here's mine, though I may have posted it before:

    Andrew was a brand new novitiate in the monastery. One of the priors, Brother Henry, was assigned to show him around. They made their way through the cells, the refectory, and the chapel, and were descending down a long flight of stairs. As they moved along, Andrew and Henry heard some faint sound that they soon determined was one of the monks sobbing quite heavily. When they entered the library where several monks were busy copying manuscripts, they saw Brother Peter bent over his desk, crying uncontrollably.

    Brother Henry and Andrew walked over to him and Brother Henry asked, "Brother Peter, what in the world is wrong?"

    Brother Peter looked up and said, "I was copying this ancient text and discovered the original. It said 'celeBRATE'"!
    "There are three kinds of men. One who learns by readin'. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on that electric fence for themselves." Will Rogers
    Mickey Richaud '73 MGB, '69 MGB GT/V6, Victor TF, '03 Jaguar XK8
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    Great Pumpkin JPSmit's Avatar
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    Re: One day at the Monestary

    "rim shot" (one of my favs too)
    John-Peter Smit
    1976 MG Midget
    1969 Vauxhall Viva GT
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