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Thread: While We Wait for the NTSB Report

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    Yoda John Turney's Avatar
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    While We Wait for the NTSB Report

    After a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the Captain announced:

    "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to flight 293 non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and ... OH, MY GOD!" ... A scream, then silence followed.

    Some moments later, the Captain came back on the intercom:

    "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spill a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

    One passenger yelled.. "For Christ's sake ... you should see the back of mine!!!"
    John, BN4

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    Yoda waltesefalcon's Avatar
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    Re: While We Wait for the NTSB Report

    Cheers,
    Walter
    52 International L110
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    Obi Wan Bayless's Avatar
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    Re: While We Wait for the NTSB Report

    I think we call that a "brown trousers moment."
    Never express yourself more clearly than you can think.
    '48 Ford Prefect
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    Administrator Basil's Avatar
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    Re: While We Wait for the NTSB Report

    That sounds like something that could actually have happened.
    “The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.” - Oscar Wilde

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    Jedi Warrior
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    Re: While We Wait for the NTSB Report

    After take off, this announcement came over the PA: :This is the newest airplane out. It is fully automated and computerized. You have nothing to worry about, nothing can go wrong, go wrong, go wrong.........
    Maynard
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    Luke Skywalker LarryK's Avatar
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    Re: While We Wait for the NTSB Report

    This is your Captain speaking, my name is "HAL"!
    Larry K
    58 Jag 3.4 MK 1 auto under restoration, 57 Jag 3.4 MK1 manual ,
    03 Cooper S, 2011 Cooper S Countryman, 2011 Land Rover LR4 HSE LUX, 1964 Valiant V200
    Also had , 68 Cortina 1600E, 64 Spit 4 & 80 1500, 73 GT6 3, 71 XJ6, 79 XJ6, 86 XJS V-12, 53 XK120 OTS.

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    Great Pumpkin JPSmit's Avatar
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    Re: While We Wait for the NTSB Report

    But don't call me shirley
    John-Peter Smit
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    Jedi Knight
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    Re: While We Wait for the NTSB Report

    Pilot: "Sorry folks. It seems we have lost an engine, but fortunately we have three more. But it will take an additional hour to reach our destination."

    ...

    Pilot: "Sorry again, folks. We have lost a second engine. We have two more, but we will fly a little slower, so we will be two hours late on arrival."

    ...

    Pilot: "Hi everyone, it's me again. We lost engine number three. Don't worry, we are safe to fly on one engine, but it will be slow. Our arrival will be three hours late."

    Little old lady sitting next to me: "Boy, I hope we don't lose the fourth engine. We'll be up here forever!!"
    Mike
    66 TR4A

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    Jedi Knight
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    Re: While We Wait for the NTSB Report

    Pilot, upon landing at New York JFK for the first time: "Co-pilot, let's be careful on this approach. I hear the runway is quite short."
    Co-pilot: "Roger that."
    Pilot, landing the plane... applies full brakes, full reverse thrust, speed brakes... "Boy this runway is REALLY short!"
    Copilot: "Roger that. But w-i-d-e!"
    Mike
    66 TR4A

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