View Full Version : General TR A Lucas Christmas

12-25-2014, 03:06 PM
Got this from the Factory Five Forum:

It was the night before Christmas and out in the shed
Sat a tired old Triumph, its battery dead.

Its fenders were rusted, the floor pans had holes
The seats and the carpets had been eaten by voles.

The tires were cracked and the gas tank had leaks
Turning the wheel caused the tie-rods to creak

So I put on my coat with a weight on my heart,
And went out in the cold to try and get it to start.

As the engine turned over- there arose such a clatter,
I knew from the sound it was timing chain chatter.

Then from under the dash there arose a bright flash:
The wiring harness had just turned into ash!

"I've had it with Triumphs!" I finally swore,
"Enough is too much! I can't take any more!"

But then what to my red, crying eyes should appear
But an old Englishman with a grease-covered beard.

"Good Day," I heard, as he tapped on my shoulder.
"I'm Joe Lucas," he announced as the car still smoldered.

"This one can be saved; there's no reason to grieve.
All you need is some faith -- you've just got to believe!"

"A hammer! Some duct tape! Get me more tools!
When you work on these cars forget all the rules!"

"We'll get her cranked over -- he loudly extolled
(But stand over there just in case it explodes.)"

A cough and a sputter, the cacophony stunning--
I couldn't believe it! The **** thing was running!

The ghost winked at me and said, kicking a tire,
"Whatever you do, DON'T TOUCH THIS WIRE!"

The old man then vanished amid sneezes and farts
When the smoke had all cleared he had left me Moss parts.

So I opened the shed door and let the bonnet down
Put her in gear and went out on the town.

And I thought to myself as I missed second gear
Merry Christmas to All and a Happy New Year!

12-26-2014, 03:28 PM
Bravo! Not everyone would appreciate this story, I did!