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kyreb1862
08-18-2008, 02:21 PM
You've been waiting for them, so without further ado here are the 2008 Darwin awards.

Eighth Place

In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after
squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he ran,'
accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the
wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom when it collapsed, burying
him beneath 5 feet of sand.
People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not
reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him.
Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop
he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his
mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he
would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the
trigger.

Third Place

After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man
walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of
customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter.... Upon seeing the
officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a
target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers
also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by
paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the
shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified
rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so
they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would
happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew
a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The
conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the
bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at
the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope.
Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of
lineman's cable, lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then
tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and
tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water
and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS...

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22
doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before
the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich,
46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved
beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued
to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.



THEY WALK AMONG US.

WhatsThatNoise
08-18-2008, 07:13 PM
The ages are...

41, 49, 21, 24, 26, 47, 46,

The average age for 1st children is below 40.
I'm guessing that there's more of their DNA out there. :nonod:

GregW
08-18-2008, 08:46 PM
41, 49, 21, 24, 26, 47, 46,

Are you gonna use those as your lottery numbers?

WhatsThatNoise
08-19-2008, 05:45 AM
Nope...

I got a B in statistics :laugh:

Mickey Richaud
08-19-2008, 07:31 AM
As if we didn't assume:

https://www.snopes.com/critters/malice/feces.asp

Entertaining, nonetheless... :laugh: