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Henri
08-06-2003, 01:35 PM
Blonde guy gets home early from work and

hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He

rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,

sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but

just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up

and says "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your

closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms

upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife,

and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there

is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the

closet floor.

"You rotten SOB ," says the husband, "my

wife's having a heart attack and you're running

around naked scaring the kids!" images/icons/shocked.gif images/icons/mad.gif images/icons/shocked.gif

tony barnhill
08-06-2003, 02:03 PM
Henri....something strange about you & this obsession with blond men jokes graemlins/lol.gif graemlins/angel.gif graemlins/lol.gif

racing girl
08-06-2003, 05:23 PM
OMG we've got another convert!!! graemlins/thumbsup.gif graemlins/lol.gif graemlins/thumbsup.gif

Ed Wynne
08-06-2003, 08:15 PM
The blond guy in the joke above finally figured out what was going on, and he went to the night stand and got out his colt 45. After making sure it was loaded, he held it to his head.
His wife and brother, both pleaded with him not to end his life over this... His reply
Shut Up!! You guys are next.....

graemlins/lol.gif

Ed

Henri
08-06-2003, 08:58 PM
Ed...that was "great"!!!...but I don't get it...wouldn't that mean he's dead...how could they be next... graemlins/crazyeyes.gif

Bret
08-06-2003, 09:04 PM
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Henri:
Ed...that was "great"!!!...but I don't get it...wouldn't that mean he's dead...how could they be next... graemlins/crazyeyes.gif <hr></blockquote>

Take it easy Henri, Just step away form the peroxide & nobody else will get hurt.

graemlins/yesnod.gif

racing girl
08-06-2003, 09:48 PM
And the winner of the one-liner of the night award goes to...... Bret!! images/icons/grin.gif

tony barnhill
08-07-2003, 12:24 AM
graemlins/iagree.gif That just about closes out this thread!

08-07-2003, 12:35 AM
graemlins/iagree.gif can't top that

Henri
08-07-2003, 12:43 AM
Well...I never... images/icons/shocked.gif

tony barnhill
08-07-2003, 12:45 AM
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Well...I never<hr></blockquote>
Well, there ya go, Henri...now we know why!

08-07-2003, 12:47 AM
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Henri:
Well...I never... images/icons/shocked.gif <hr></blockquote>

sounds like maybe you did graemlins/savewave.gif

Henri
08-07-2003, 01:41 AM
It's way to easy to catch you...feast on...you almost tripped on each other trying to get to the carcass... images/icons/shocked.gif

It seems nothing gets by you...your way too clever for me... images/icons/tongue.gif

Bret...only have one word for you...funny... graemlins/thumbsup.gif

That was one great oneliner...almost lost my dinner laughing so hard...thanks...they say laughter is the best medicine... graemlins/thumbsup.gif

[ 08-06-2003: Message edited by: Henri ]</p>

tony barnhill
08-07-2003, 09:03 AM
Henri...they almost seem coordinated! One poses a question without asking thus allowing the reader to go either way in his/er mind; the other directs in a direction that could also go either way based on the reader's proclivity!

[ 08-07-2003: Message edited by: tony barnhill ]</p>

Bret
08-07-2003, 11:19 AM
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Henri:
&lt;&lt;SNIP&gt;&gt;

Bret...only have one word for you...funny... graemlins/thumbsup.gif

That was one great oneliner...almost lost my dinner laughing so hard...thanks...they say laughter is the best medicine... graemlins/thumbsup.gif

<hr></blockquote>

Thanks Henri,

You are correct about laughter being the best medicine. Because sometimes it seems like all you can do is laugh or cry. But personally – I choose sarcasm.
images/icons/wink.gif

As for the peroxide joke – I really didn’t think it would get as much mileage as it did. Sorry about that, but you have got to admit that you left yourself wide open for that one.

That said – I guess I can expect like treatment down the road. All’s fair in love, war and the BCF.

graemlins/cheers.gif

Henri
08-07-2003, 02:25 PM
got to admit that you left yourself wide open for that one.

No problem...it was intentional...after all it was a "blond joke" in reply...dah!!!!

Sarcasm works for me too... images/icons/rolleyes.gif

[ 08-07-2003: Message edited by: Henri ]</p>

tony barnhill
08-07-2003, 02:46 PM
Hey, guys, its all in fun, right? At least on this side of the monitor it is..

racing girl
08-08-2003, 03:16 AM
it was intentional...

Talk about trying to save face... images/icons/rolleyes.gif

Henri
08-08-2003, 03:59 AM
Talk about trying to save face

Please tell me that's not all you got... images/icons/tongue.gif images/icons/shocked.gif

[ 08-09-2003: Message edited by: Henri ]</p>

tony barnhill
08-08-2003, 08:50 AM
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. In the peroxide corner at 6'2" & weighing in at 225 pounds, the contender, HENRIIIIIIIII!
and, in the brunette corner, your current champion, the petite, lovely, and of English descent, RACINGGIRLLLLLLLL" graemlins/patriot.gif graemlins/cheers.gif graemlins/england.gif

[ 08-08-2003: Message edited by: tony barnhill ]

[ 08-08-2003: Message edited by: tony barnhill ]

[ 08-08-2003: Message edited by: tony barnhill ]</p>

racing girl
08-08-2003, 10:19 AM
Who are you putting your money on Tony??? graemlins/lol.gif

08-08-2003, 10:28 AM
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by racing girl:
Who are you putting your money on Tony??? graemlins/lol.gif <hr></blockquote>

why you of course, Tony ain't stupid graemlins/devilgrin.gif

tony barnhill
08-08-2003, 10:44 AM
RG, I may look funny but my gramma didn't raise no fool! "Never, ever make a woman of the female persuasion angry with you," that's what she told me, yes it is!

racing girl
08-08-2003, 11:17 AM
Tony - I was thinking that after 34 years of marriage you should know which side your bread's buttered on!

RG

PS. - Oh and don't be mean to my pal Henri, he hasn't gained 10lbs overnight. graemlins/angel.gif

[ 08-08-2003: Message edited by: racing girl ]</p>

tony barnhill
08-08-2003, 11:37 AM
RG - I do, trust me, I do..&, she reminds me every day!

I changed the post..he's back to 225...its my short finger's fault - the one missing the last joint/fingernail!

Henri
08-08-2003, 11:01 PM
PS. - Oh and don't be mean to my pal Henri, he hasn't gained 10lbs overnight

Acutally...lost 6.5lbs this past week...I'm on my way to around 205...I hope...attempting to get leaner (and meaner if you like)...I've been lifting weights now for around 10 years...some with a personal trainer...I'm not trying to look muscle-bound...just look lean and cut...the exhaustion of working out is very soothing...it's the endorphins...for those of you that have never tried lifting anything heavier than a bottle of beer...try it...it takes awhile...but you're never to old to start...and it really helps with your metabolism and energy level...I'm stronger and much more physically fit then when I was 35...and it great for women too...

The diet thing (which is what I'm on) is a life commitment...once you learn to eat healthy it's not that hard...plus like the tv ad says..."you can pay me now or pay me later"...I intend to be a very fit 80-90 or even 100 old gentleman...so I'm in "life" training at the moment... images/icons/smile.gif

tony barnhill
08-08-2003, 11:04 PM
Henri.....I'm gonna 'LIVE' till I die! That's what I want 'em to say in my eulogy, "He LIVED till he died!"

Henri
08-08-2003, 11:07 PM
Henri.....I'm gonna 'LIVE' till I die! That's what I want 'em to say in my eulogy, "He LIVED till he died!"

Yep...I saw people like that in the "Rest" home that my mother died in...living their final days in the hallways...was real exciting... images/icons/frown.gif

tony barnhill
08-09-2003, 12:07 AM
Henri (& I empathize - just lost mother-in-law who was in that condition)....they weren't "LIVING", they were 'living'...there's a difference...no matter what we do to try to improve or extend our lives, its all to naught...so, I'm gonna LIVE til I die!
Oh, gotta tell you, my mother-in-law "LIVED" for 91 of her 92 years!

[ 08-08-2003: Message edited by: tony barnhill ]</p>

Henri
08-09-2003, 04:05 AM
Tony...I do understand what you are saying...please live life to the fullest...however...

How about looking at it this way...your gas tank has 10 gallons of gas in it...driving 100 miles an hour will surely get you down the road...and very fast...but how much further would you get driving 40 miles per hour...

You only have one body...you can't get replacement parts for it...more than likely most of us take better care of our cars then we do of ourselves...so I'm just taking care of the only body I have...hoping by doing so...that I have a "complete" life...which I live to the fullest measure possible...while not drinking and eating stupidly and exercising to maintain my body...

Why wouldn't you consider your own body as an asset such as one of your LBC's...you certainly would not drive it with a missing spark plug...or an oil leak...or run it on methane...

You imply that because I'm taking care of myself that somehow that is not living...I'd reply to you that those people that do not take care of themselves are the ones that are not living...

I can still do many of the things that I did as a boy...I can still play all day when I want...run...jump...ride a bike...hit a softball a country mile...etc...and in very few years I'll be 60...the quality of my life has not diminished that much...how many people at my age can say the same...why is that? Because they are "living"...and I'm not?

No my friend...it's the quality of my life that I'm attempting to maintain...our differences maybe what we determine is that quality...

My younger brother died at 52 "living" life out of a bottle...and when I reproached him with regards to his lifestlye...his reply sounded very much like your reply to me...

[ 08-09-2003: Message edited by: Henri ]</p>

racing girl
08-09-2003, 01:31 PM
graemlins/iagree.gif 100% behind Henri on this one.

There are some things in life we just won't be able to change, but HOW we live our lives is entirely up to us and that is something we can control.

I have a hereditary medical condition that has the potential to kill if not kept in check, it killed my oldest brother 5 years ago 2 weeks after he turned 40, that's how we found out about it. I have a choice in how I live, we all do. It's my choice to exercise almost every day, to shop exclusively at an organic supermarket, to prepare from scratch all the food we eat at home, to have my medical needs taken care of by an holistic doctor, to practice yoga, reflexology and massage... the list goes on.

Does it mean that I don't LIVE my life to the fullest? NO

Does it mean I don't have any fun? NO

Does it mean I won't have a couple of drinks here and there, or go out to dinner, or have a bowl of ice cream? NO

Does it mean I'm no longer the party girl I once was?? HECK NO - ask Jeff!!!

Didn't mean to rant... maybe Henri and I need a Philosophy section??? graemlins/crazy.gif

I suppose just think about yourself once in a while, it's not a selfish thing to do, scratch the surface of life a little deeper... you might be surprised at what you find! images/icons/smile.gif

RG

Steve
08-09-2003, 01:37 PM
Uh-oh, don't get Henri started on philosophy!!

racing girl
08-09-2003, 04:52 PM
Heart be still

Nnnooo Henri, I prefer you when your heart IS beating.... others on this forum? Well I can only speak for myself! images/icons/tongue.gif Besides, isn't that the whole point of healthy living and exercise??

If you can really do back flips on a trampoline I'm seriously impressed! We need photographic evidence of this!! The odd thing is, I can't even touch my toes... NEVER have been able to, must have really odd leg muscles! images/icons/frown.gif

08-09-2003, 06:08 PM
I don't think he said he could touch his toes, just see 'em graemlins/devilgrin.gif

Henri
08-09-2003, 10:47 PM
Careful Chuck...RG and I have made peace...even if it is tenative at the moment...or until I open my big mouth and insert one or both of my feet... images/icons/rolleyes.gif

Plus...I've been on all of you MG guy's websites (including yours) and sneaked a peek at your photos...a few push-ups and crunches won't hurt the lot of you...and I don't mean pushing up another "brewskies" or crunching a on a piece of fried chicken... graemlins/lol.gif

08-09-2003, 11:06 PM
Yeah Henri, I gotta agree, the year I spent with a cast on my leg didn't do much for my boyish figure, not that it was much before that, but I'm working on it, having given up both beer and fried chicken.
standard disclaimer: I ain't perfect, nobody is. graemlins/iagree.gif

tony barnhill
08-10-2003, 12:46 AM
Henri...haven't slowed down all day...we (me & a couple of high school seniors) opened the Garage-mahal up today - no center wall!...its now 48'x54' & closed in! We put 10 cars in it & still have room for 5 more plus my Norton!

Hey, we both agree - heck, I run with high school kids all day, every day...went to movie tonight & ended up standing around in the parking lot for an hour afterwards just chillin' with kids....that's what keeps me young! That & a wife who allows me to be young at heart!

[ 08-09-2003: Message edited by: tony barnhill ]</p>

Henri
08-10-2003, 03:21 AM
Uh-oh, don't get Henri started on philosophy!!

Paradoxically so...my favorite subject...the art of nonsense...there are no right or wrong answers...however be prepared to defend yourself...and be able state your stance...

100% behind Henri on this one.

'Heart be still'...Brenda this could be a dangerous precedent...glad your on my side with this one though... graemlins/hammer.gif

I forgot another plus about being fit...I can see my feet without bending over... images/icons/wink.gif

Oh and I can do this... https://www.members.aol.com/enuber/jump.gif

TypeRboy
08-12-2003, 01:36 AM
Ouch.. The "lot of us" may not all be in need of stomach crunches.. Just getting in and out of my car is excercise. ( lift, tuck, roll, twist and then stretch out in a short running motion )

I think this thread is dangerous to all our friendly intentions..